


And I Love Her

by Holtzmann_lover



Series: Can't Buy Me Love [3]
Category: Yesterday (2019)
Genre: Angst, Cute babies, F/F, Please read, Pregnancy, happy endings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:22:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23403679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holtzmann_lover/pseuds/Holtzmann_lover
Summary: Debra had never even planned on being a mother, but when Avery tells her she wants kids, her life is about to change.
Relationships: Debra Hammer/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Can't Buy Me Love [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1468823
Comments: 14
Kudos: 5





	1. June

Debra’s head snapped up so fast, Avery was surprised that she didn’t snap it off. Suddenly, Debra felt fine. Like she hadn’t had the flu for the last week. Avery’s words were confident and clear. She knew what she heard. Her mind flashed back to the day at the restaurant when they were eating ice cream. Debra knew her marriage already had problems and she didn't think that having a kid would make those problems better.

Debra looked at Avery who was looking back at her. She was biting her lip nervously, waiting for a response. Debra could practically feel how anxious Avery was.

“Do you just expect me to have an answer?” Debra asked, making swirls in the soapy water.

Avery shrugged, “I guess not, but we’re not getting any younger. You’re almost forty.”

Debra glared at her. “How dare you say that.”

“I’m sorry.” Avery frowned. As Debra got older, it was clear that she began having more insecurities about her age and Avery knew that. “I just don’t wanna miss out on something that maybe we want.”

“I don’t think I would be a good mom.”

Avery scooted closer and rested her head on Debra’s chest. “You would be. I just know it.”

Debra leaned her head back on the wall and sighed. She had never even thought about kids before. She just always accepted that she wasn’t mom material and moved on. Besides, she could get a lot more done if she didn’t have kids.

“How the fuck did you get the flu in June?” Avery asked, rubbing Debra’s thigh underneath the water.

“Cuz  I’m fucking nuts,” Debra said in a straight voice.

Avery giggled a little at how serious Debra had said that.

“Okay, we’ll look into having a baby. You deserve to be happy and if you want a baby, then you should have it.” Debra nodded, like she was happy with the words she chose.

“About that…”

Debra’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“You’ll have to carry the baby. I’m sorry, Debra but I’ve been sick for so long. I don’t wanna put myself through getting my hopes up and then not being able to have kids.”

“Yeah, I’m not doing that.”

Avery watched as Debra climbed out of the jacuzzi and wrapped a towel around herself.

“Debra please come back,” Avery moaned. “Can’t we just talk about this?”

“Avery, I don’t want to do that.”

And with that, Debra left the room, shutting the door a little too loudly behind her.

Avery sighed, trying not to be disappointed. She knew she couldn’t force Debra to have a baby. It was her decision, but it had seemed like Debra blocked Avery off right away. All Avery wanted to do was talk about it. But when Debra didn't want to talk about something, it wasn’t going to happen.

* * *

“Debra?” Avery called out, looking on the balcony that was connected to their room. Snowflake trotted out, going to sniff the smells that the outside world had. It was now night, the evening had left too soon.

Avery’s suspicions had been correct. Debra was outside, smoking a cigarette, leaning against the wall. Avery felt bad. Debra only ever smoked when she was stressed or put too much pressure on herself to make her clients great.

Avery was also a smoker, but she wasn’t nearly as much of a smoker as Debra or Lily. It seemed like when Lily and Debra couldn’t get along, they could at least bond through smoking.

Avery gently pried the cigarette away from Debra.

“I paid for that.”

“I don’t care.”

Debra glared at her.

“We have to talk. Come on. I’m not going to bed without us talking,” Avery insisted.

“Then it looks like the studio is gonna suck tomorrow.”

Avery glared at her this time.

“I don’t want to have a baby, Avery. What’s so hard to understand about that?” Debra picked at her nails. “I haven't even genuinely thought about having kids and you’re wanting me to push one out of me?”

“You seemed okay with it earlier,” Avery pointed out.

“Well yeah, when I thought you would be having it.” Debra realized the cigarette was still in Avery’s hand so she leaned over and plucked it out of her hand to smoke again. Avery let her.

Debra sighed, playing with the rings on her fingers. “Avery, I couldn’t do it. You know me. I could barely keep our relationship together when my dad died. I couldn’t keep a relationship with a kid. I’d ruin them. I never even imagined getting married. Life is easier with less people.”

“You don’t look at yourself the way I look at you. You’re confident, you know what you want, you’re smart. You put others before yourself,” Avery listed. “You don’t give yourself credit for the stuff that you’ve changed.”

Debra gave her a look while scoffing. “I haven't changed that much.”

Avery thought back to a few days prior on the way to the doctor’s office when Debra yelled at a homeless person for touching her. It was rude and Avery had to tug on Debra’s arm to get her to stop. Needless to say, the homeless person ran off.

“But don’t you think a kid would be different?” Avery wondered. “You’re nicer to the people who you know, believe it or not. You’re even nice to Lily and Amanda.”

Debra shrugged. She was done with the conversation.

“But I really think you’d be a good mom. You’re responsible and passionate towards what you’ll love. You’re careful with what you do and you make the best artists. Besides, you wouldn't be alone. Think about it, we could be a family. Maybe settle down somewhere...I don’t know. But I’m ready for a new chapter in my life, whether you’re with me or not.”

Debra let the words sink in. Ever since Avery had been a part of her life, her life felt more in place. More stable and complete. If her having this kid meant that she could keep Avery, then she would. Because she wasn’t about to lose her again.

“Let’s do it.”


	2. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra parties with Lily and tells her too much information.

“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” Avery strutted down the stage. “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?”

“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me?” Lily sang into the microphone, giving a sexy pose. “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me?”

“Hey!” Debra snapped, glaring at them. “I gave you those mics to do a proper sound check. You’re not a nine year old singing into a hairbrush in your bedroom mirror!”

Lily pouted. “You’re no fun.”

“I’m not paid to be fun,” Debra said and climbed onto the stage, yanking the microphone from Lily. “No more.”

“She’s just a grouch because she didn't get to eat breakfast this morning,” Avery explained. She was currently getting ready to perform at a festival. Even though she wasn’t on tour, she was still performing once in a while while beginning to work on her fourth album. This festival was over night and Avery had been scheduled to perform at noon.

Debra passed a water bottle to Lily. She went to pass one to Avery as well but snatched it back as Avery was about to grab it. “Don’t say I’m a grouch.”

Avery grabbed the water bottle back. “Whatever, Debra. The sound is fine.”

“How about a little respect for getting you this spot?” Debra reminded her. Avery sighed. Debra was right. Avery needed to be more thankful. They were at a public festival and none of it was private. She walked across the stage, giving Debra a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you for this.”

“We have an hour before you’re on. Wanna go back to the car for a few minutes?” Debra asked. Avery looked around to see where Lily was and saw her by Amanda and Raisin. They had been closer than ever and Avery knew Amanda wanted to ask Lily to marry her soon. The biggest question was when.

Avery turned back to Debra. “Okay.”

Avery set the microphone down and took Debra’s hand and followed her to their car that was parked a block away. Debra unlocked the door and they both climbed in, Avery throwing the papers in the front to the back. They were medical papers. Debra and Avery both decided that if they were going to have a baby, then Debra should be in the best health possible.

Debra became vulnerable at doctors appointments and often showed the worst side of herself. Avery did the best she could and went with her to make sure Debra was okay. Debra was healthy but the doctor had told her that if she wanted to have kids, then it would be best to do it soon.

Debra sighed, looking at the papers that were thrown. They were stressing her out and she knew that she needed to make an appointment soon. She picked them up and shoved them in the glove box.

“Don’t want Lily seeing these.” She muttered.

It was true. As much as Avery loved Lily, she wanted to keep this business private until they were for certain they were going to have a baby. Avery trusted Lily, but she wanted Debra to be as comfortable as possible and if that meant not telling Lily yet, then so be it. 

“We should make an appointment soon,” Avery said and Debra sighed.

“We will.” She brought Avery closer and brought her into a kiss, running her fingers along her side, making Avery forget about their recent stressors.   
  


Their time was cut short when the door was thrown open and Lily and Amanda, who was holding Raisin, climbed in.

“Fuck you,” Debra moaned.

“I’m here to report that you have ten minutes until you’re scheduled to perform,” Lily told Avery.

“Shit, I gotta go. My manager will kill me if I’m late,” Avery told Debra.

“Just go,” Debra said and they all got back out of the car to watch Avery perform. 

Avery performed well and before they knew it, they were back home and lounging on the couch. Snowflake wanted to as well, but with Debra there, there was no way that was happening.

“I think I’m going out tonight. Are you coming?” Debra put down her phone and looked at Avery who shook her head. 

“I’m pretty tired, I’m gonna stay home,” Avery told her.

“Suit yourself,” Debra shrugged and got up to go get ready. Snowflake jumped on the couch after Debra left.

Avery clicked on the Instagram app. She had gotten one back when she first became famous so she could promote her music. She looked through the comments of her recent post and liked a few other artist’s stuff before going into her direct messages. Debra had always warned her to stay away from that, as she often took comments to heart, but she couldn’t help it. Most of the messages were nice, telling her how much her music was loved. Some were rude and she tried her best to ignore those. But one link made her curious. She clicked on the link and let the page load. It was a link to a clinic for artificial insemination.

* * *

Debra sat at the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention at the nightclub. She wore black pants and a black tank top that was tucked in with her blonde hair down. It was busy and she should be patient but it was annoying her. She just wanted a drink. She groaned at the lack of attention she was receiving.

“It’s my main squeeze!” Lily cheered, wrapping an arm around Debra while sitting down. Lily sported a white t-shirt that had the word  _ HONEY  _ written on it with red letters along with jeans and converse.

“I am not your ‘main squeeze’, Lily. I only invited you here because I thought you’d have fun. Now get off of me,” Debra groaned again.

Lily responded by wrapping her other arm around Debra and looking at the bartender. “I love her.”

“What can I get for you all?” The bartender asked.

“Are you kidding, I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes,” Debra scolded him but gave her order. Lily did the same.

They grabbed their drinks and went onto the dance floor, dancing with their drinks in hand. Debra danced in the middle while Lily danced off to the side, talking to a guy with sunglasses on his face.

Debra danced and drank her drink, jumping up and down to the lyrics. Lily danced back over, slipping something into her pocket, while continuing to dance as well. Debra would never buy weed but Lily could, so if Debra gave her money, she would get the weed.

“Let’s go outside!” Debra ordered and Lily nodded, following her. They went behind the building and sat on the curb, taking out the weed and lighter. Debra lit it and inhaled before passing it to Lily. They smoked in silence for a couple minutes.

“This is fun, we should do it more often,” Lily suggested and passed the blunt back to Debra.

“I probably shouldn’t do this anymore.” Debra said.

Lily scoffed. “Why?”

Debra went to answer but burst out laughing. “B-b-because Avery wants to have kids.”

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. “What?”

“I was not supposed to tell you that.” 

And then Lily burst out laughing too, which made Debra start all over again. They laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. Avery was quickly rising to the top of the charts in the music world and Debra wasn’t the most ideal person to be a mom. Maybe to them, it was the funniest thing.

“All right, we gotta get home. Avery’s gonna get worried if I don’t show up soon.” Debra stood up and quickly got rid of the weed.

“Can I stay over? Amanda is visiting her parents in Canada this weekend. I stayed back to keep an eye on Raisin.”

“You’re so needy.”

“Am not,” Lily pouted and followed Debra to the car, where Debra listed off all the reasons why Lily was needy.


	3. August

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Avery go to a clinic for artificial insemination.

“Are you ready for this?” Avery looks at her wife.

Debra looks back at her. “No.”

They were currently standing outside an artificial insemination clinic and Debra was nervous as hell. She never even planned on being a mother and now she’s here basically volunteering herself to be one. Avery was nervous too, but for different reasons. She purposely made sure not to go to the clinic that was sent to her on Instagram, but she was still anxious. Clearly this person knew what they were planning on doing anyways, no matter where they went. Avery had never had any crazy fans but Debra had made her walk with security a couple of times before and if anyone knew how famous Avery was, it was Debra.

“We don’t have to do this. We can adopt,” Avery said, rubbing Debra’s arm a little.

Debra shakes her head.  _ You’re doing this for Avery. _

“No, we’re doing this,” She said in the voice that Avery knew to listen to. Avery nodded slowly and Debra grabbed her hand, gently pulling her inside. Avery observed the waiting room as Debra marched up to the counter. There were a couple of obviously pregnant women sitting in chairs waiting to be seen and one that looked to be like a teenager still.

“How can I help you?” The lady at the desk asked Debra.

“Debra Hammer,” Debra said and looked at the lady.

The lady’s eyebrows raised, not expecting the rude behavior from the woman. She turned to her keyboard and typed for a second before turning back to Debra. “You’re here for the artificial insemination procedure?”

“Well I’m certainly not here to go grocery shopping,” She said, and even though she was amused by her rude behavior, the lady at the front desk was not. Debra felt a hand on her lower back and sighed. A silent communication between her and Avery.  _ Chill. _

“When was your last period?” The lady sighed, grabbing a clipboard and pen.   
  


“Two weeks ago,” Debra informed her but the words were no longer harsh.

“Fill out these. You’ll be called back shortly.” The lady hands her the clipboard and pen. Debra grabs them and leads them to a spot in the corner and begins to fill out the papers.

“I just told her my last period and now I have to tell them again?” Debra grumbled and wrote down the answer.

“It’s just so the information is accurate,” Avery said and watched her fill out the rest. Debra grumbled something else and by the time the paperwork was filled out, she was being called back.

A nurse led them back to a room and directed Debra to sit on the bed. Avery slid up a chair next to her and grabbed her hand gently, rubbing soft circles on her thumb. They both agreed for their donor to be anonymous and they had no idea what he looked like, therefore not knowing what their baby would look like either. The thawed out frozen sperm sat on the counter in a syringe on a tray and Avery decided not to look at it.

The nurse gave Debra a gown to change into and Debra glared at it.

“There’s no way I’m putting that on,” Debra scoffed.

“We need you to put this on. It’s easier for the doctor when it’s time for the procedure,” The nurse explained.

“Debra…” Avery warned.

Debra glared at the nurse but snatched the gown out of her hand. “Fine.”

The nurse left and shut the door behind her. Debra took off her yellow blazer, gray top, and skinny jeans along with her heels. She then slipped the gown over her body. 

“This is ridiculous,” Debra complained and sat down on the bed.

“Why are you so worried about it? I’m the only one who’s gonna see you in it. Besides, you should be thinking about how we might have a baby soon.” Avery poked Debra’s stomach and Debra glared at her but it softened as Avery grinned.

“Maybe,” Debra said softly.

The door opened and a doctor came in. Her long black hair was tied up and she wore a white lab coat with a button up shirt and a black skirt underneath. She sported hipster glasses on her face.

“Debra?” She asked. “I’m Doctor Britt, I’ll be doing the artificial insemination procedure for you today.”

Avery stood up and stuck out her hand. “Avery Mercer, pleasure to meet you.”

They shook hands and the doctor turned to Debra. “It’s nice to meet you.”   
  


And even though Debra felt more vulnerable than ever, she figured she needed to still be herself. “Debra Hammer.”

Avery noticed that Debra didn’t say anything rude to the doctor and she sighed in relief.

“So let’s get started, shall we? This will only take about five minutes.” She sat down in the swivel chair in the room. “Bend your knees and spread your legs apart please.”

“Very forward,” Debra commented but did as she was told. Avery held her hand. The doctor grabbed the syringe and right as she went to touch Debra, the blonde snapped.

“Don’t touch me!”

The doctor yanked the syringe away in surprise.

“Can we have a moment, please?” Avery asked the doctor and the doctor nodded. She had never experienced something like that before. She placed the syringe back on the tray and exited the room quickly.

“Debra...she’s just doing her job,” Avery said.

“I don’t want her to touch me!” Debra snapped.

“Well how did you think she was going to do it?” Avery asked curiously.

“I don’t know.”

“Debra, if you don’t want to do this, then you have to say,” Avery said.

“No! No, I’ll do it.” Debra said.

“Are you sure?” Avery asked.

“I’m sure.”

Avery nodded and kissed Debra’s forehead before running out to retrieve the doctor. Debra allowed herself to take some deep breaths while Avery was away. She reminded herself why she was doing this in the first place. Avery came back with the doctor and the doctor seemed more relaxed. Debra wondered if Avery said anything to her. Avery grabbed onto Debra’s hand again.

“Should we try this again?” The doctor asked nicely and Debra nodded.

“Then I’m gonna ask you to do the same thing as before.” The doctor grabbed the syringe again and this time, Debra allowed her to touch her. Debra closed her eyes as she felt the syringe enter her body.  _ Remember, do it for Avery.  _ She forced herself to keep her eyes closed until the tears vanished.

“And you’re done!” The doctor said. Debra opened her eyes. She didn’t realize that the procedure was over already. 

“You might experience some cramping and that’s normal. If it turns out you’re not pregnant and you wanna try again, give us a call. And if you are pregnant, we can also provide you with checkups,” The doctor said, removing the gloves that she had put on.

“Thank you,” Avery said and the doctor nodded before leaving the room so Debra could get changed.

Avery placed a kiss on Debra’s temple. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

Debra got up and put her clothes back on. “You’re buying lunch.”

“Deal,” Avery agreed and they walked hand in hand out of the clinic.


	4. September

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Lily hang out.

“It failed,” Debra said. She was wearing a grey fitted blazer and her hair was in it’s usual style.

  
Lily looked her up and down. She was wearing a black t-shirt with flannel over it and jean shorts. “So why are you standing on my doorstep?”

“I need your help.”

“Never thought I’d hear that,” Lily commented and grabbed her keys from the hook by the door. “Well I’m about to go out to grab food for Raisin. You can come with me if you want.”

“If you want me to come along so badly, just ask, Lily. You don’t need to be so subtle.” Debra said seriously.

“Come or don’t come.” Lily shrugged.

Five minutes later, Debra found herself sitting in the passenger seat of Lily’s car as they drove through Los Angeles. They both had sunglasses on and they took the top off of Lily’s jeep. 

“So why do you need my help?” Lily asked and looked at her briefly.

“I have to have a baby,” Debra said.

“Why?”

“I don’t want Avery to leave me,” Debra breathed out. 

Lily looked at her again. “If you think that Avery is going to leave you because you can’t have a baby, then you don’t know her.”

“Lily, I really can’t lose Avery.”

“You won’t,” Lily said. “But it’s about time you realize your worth.”

Lily pulled up to an ice cream drive-thru. “You seem sad. Do you want anything?”

“Are you serious? I didn’t realize we were making pit stops. Avery’s gonna be done in the studio soon,” Debra scolded.

“Hey, I’m buying. Don’t complain.” Lily told her.

“Fine, I’ll have a small vanilla ice cream.” Debra gave in.

“Great, there’s a coupon in the glove box,” Lily instructed her. Debra opened up the glove box and hit Lily in the shoulder when she discovered what was on top of the coupons she collected.

“Are you an idiot? You can’t keep weed in your car! You already drive like a retard!” Debra scolded.

“Hey! Don’t say the R word!” Lily slapped her back. They pulled up to the speaker to give their orders. 

“I’m just saying, if you get pulled over, you’re bound to be arrested.” Debra said and slammed the glove box closed after grabbing the coupons out of it.

“But do you want to smoke it?” Lily asked.

Debra glared at her. Lily smiled in response. They ordered their ice cream and ate it. Lily noticed that Debra never said thank you for the ice cream but Lily knew Debra wasn’t one to say thank you. She knew deep down she was thankful.

Debra looked at Lily. “So about that weed?”

* * *

“I’m hungry, we should go to that ice cream place,” Debra said.

“And get yourself arrested? I think not,” Lily said.

“You’re so serious,” Debra commented and they both laughed. Debra pulled out her phone. “Shit, I was supposed to meet Avery at the studio. She called me like a million times.” There were three missed calls from Avery on her phone.

“Don’t worry, Avery will understand. She’s a great person. She’s great at singing, she’s a great friend. She’s even great at sex,” Lily listed off, not realizing what she had said.

“Wait. When did you guys have sex?” Debra asked, suddenly feeling sober even though she was nowhere near sober.

“When we were in high school. Fuck, Debra. I realize how that sounded. We didn’t do it anytime recently. This was almost fifteen years ago.” Lily rambled.

But before Lily could reassure her that they didn’t do anything wrong, Debra leaned over and kissed Lily on the lips.

* * *

“Where are you,  Debra?” Avery groaned as she tried calling her for a fourth time. Debra was supposed to meet her at the studio so she could listen to the work she had done that day but now it seemed like Debra was unreachable.

Her phone buzzed and she automatically thought it was Debra and clicked on the notification without checking. She bit her lip as she realized it was not Debra. It was an instagram notification from the same account as before, telling her how great her album was going to be. Avery really wished she didn’t open that message because now she has to worry about this. She went onto the account. There was no profile picture and no posts were made. Suspicious to say the least. 

Just then, the studio doors crashed open and Lily and Debra walked in, holding bags full of burgers. Avery now frowned, feeling anger come over her. She was really afraid that something had happened to Debra and it turned out she was just using drugs with Lily. That was the only time they hung out together.

“Really, Debra? Really?” Avery sounded disappointed and snatched the bags out of their hands. “I don’t care if Lily smokes but we’re trying to have a baby and we can’t do that if you’re gonna fuck up your lungs.”

“You smoke too,” Debra said and it was clear that she was amused by Avery.

“Yeah, but I’m not trying to get pregnant,” Avery snapped. “There better be a good burger in there for me.”

As Avery was searching through the bag, she saw Lily and Debra whispering back and forth to each other. She couldn’t figure out what they were saying but the whispers were loud.

“Are you guys gonna tell me what’s going on or continue to be obvious that you have a secret?” She raised an eyebrow as they shut up.

“Avery…” Suddenly Debra didn’t seem so high anymore. Her voice concerned Avery. She could only think of two times when she heard Debra talk like that. Once, when she was in the hospital for anorexia and once when her father was dying. This scared her. Especially since Lily seemed to be serious too.

“What?” She could feel her chest begin to feel tight. Debra went over and locked the studio doors so no one could walk in. Debra sat on a chair next to Avery and Lily stood, almost as if she could run if she had to. 

“Just say it. You guys are making me nervous.” She looked between the two of them and set the bags down.

“I kissed Lily.”

Avery’s head snapped towards Debra. Debra had never seen Avery look so hurt and for once, Debra felt guilt inside of her. She really didn't mean to kiss Lily and if she was sober, she never would have done it. It didn't even cross her mind. One minute she was surprised about Avery and Lily having sex and the next thing she knew her lips were on Lily’s.

“Do you not like me like that anymore?” Avery looked crushed. Lily wanted to run over and pull her best friend into a hug, but she didn’t know whether she should or not. She didn’t know how Avery would react.

“I still love you just the same.” Debra tried to convince Avery.

“Then why?” Avery had tears in her eyes but she refused to let them escape.

“I wasn’t thinking. I don’t know. But you have to believe me when I say that you’re the only person I have feelings for. Once Lily realized what was going on she pushed me back. But please know that you’re the one for me. You’re perfect, Avery. You’re one of a kind. You understand me like no one else does. I don’t know what went over me but I can promise it won’t happen again.”

Avery looked over at Lily after wiping some of her tears away. She noticed Debra was trying not to cry too.

“I promise I pushed her away after it happened. I’m faithful to Amanda and I would never cheat on her,” Lily said.

Avery took a few minutes to think. She knew Debra got bored of the same thing over and over again but she also knew that Debra was the one who proposed to Avery. Avery figured that if Debra wasn’t completely into the relationship, she wouldn’t have proposed. If Debra was a cheater, then chances are Debra wouldn’t have told her about this.

“I believe you,” Avery said slowly. “But you can’t be going around kissing other people when you’re high. Actually, I’d prefer it if you please don’t get high from now on. At least from now until you have a baby.”

“Okay.” Debra nodded. “Avery, I really am sorry.”

“I know you are,” Avery said and grabbed the bags again.

“So are we all okay?” Lily asked. Debra looked at Avery for an answer. 

“Yeah, we’re okay,” She nodded.

Her phone buzzed again and she glanced at it. An instagram notification was displayed on her phone. She opened the app and went into her DM’s.

_ Those burgers look good. _

But she wasn’t going to tell Debra about this. She could never find out. At least not until their baby was born.


	5. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra finds out she's pregnant.

_ “Hey, I promise, this can be the last time. And if it doesn’t work out, I won’t even ask you to try again. We can adopt.” Avery said. They were in the car on the way to the clinic again. Debra was driving and Avery was in the passenger seat. Debra kept checking her phone at the stoplights and Avery guessed she was trying to distract herself by working. _

_ Avery put her hands over the screen of Debra’s phone. “Watch the road. And you better not do that once we have a kid.” _

_ Debra sighed but put her phone away.  _

_ “Hey, I have a good feeling about this.” Avery intertwined their fingers. She was nervous herself, but Debra didn’t always think rationally when she was nervous so she forgot about her own emotions for the time being. Debra needed her most of all. _

* * *

“Shit,” Debra swore, looking at the counter in front of her. Six pregnancy tests were lined up on the counter. They were all different brands and they all read positive. She had been suspecting she was pregnant. Her boobs were growing bigger and they were more sensitive to touch. She also peed a lot, like every hour. It was annoying to say the least. But what even annoyed her more was the fact that she needed a nap every day. Most days she was in the studio all day working with Avery or another client, but lately she couldn’t stay all day. It angered her because she couldn’t function like she used to.

Debra swept all the tests but one into the trash can and leaned against the counter. She was pregnant. It was an odd thing to think about. Kids weren’t on her list of things to achieve before she died but here she was, pregnant with a child that would be Avery’s. But she could do this, she knew she could. She raised stars every day. What was one of her own?

“I’m home!” Avery yelled and Snowflake began to bark, which annoyed Debra. Snowflake was a very good dog but sometimes he got over excited. Debra abandoned the test on the sink and went down stairs where Avery was playing with Snowflake and eating a tuna sandwich. The smell made Debra nauseous and ran over to the sink, emptying her stomach.

“Debra?” Avery asked, setting the half eaten sandwich down on the table and rushed over to the sink, rubbing Debra’s back gently. “What’s wrong?”

Debra wiped her mouth on a towel and walked over to the tuna sandwich, picking it up and holding it as far away from her as she could, and dropped it in the trash can.

“That was my sandwich,” Avery pointed out.

“I don’t care, don’t eat that in front of me,” Debra said and Avery noticed it was the voice that Debra used with her other clients. The voice that gave her authority.

“Debra, calm down. You’re going into agent mode when there’s no need to.” Avery said and touched Debra’s arm soothingly. “I’m going to go take a shower.” Avery kissed Debra on the lips.

“Hey, how was the interview?” Debra asked. 

“It was fine. I got the same old questions,” Avery shrugged.

“How did you answer the questions?”

“I answered honestly and I didn’t do anything that could reflect badly on my image or the agency’s.” Avery sighed. “I’ve got this. I’ve been doing this for four years now.”

“Good girl.” Debra kissed her lips and Avery walked off to the bathroom.

Debra sat in a kitchen chair and rested her head against the back of it. Her mouth felt disgusting from getting sick and she was tired. She knew she needed to get up and go lay in bed before she ended up passing out at the kitchen table.

“Debra!” Avery called out from the bathroom.

“What?” Debra responded, running into the bathroom.

Avery was holding the test up.

“Are you…”

Debra looked at the test and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

Avery grinned. Debra hadn’t even seen Avery smile so big. Not even when her first album came out or when she won a grammy for her last album. It was a different smile and it made Debra feel special.

Debra stepped closer to Avery, and Avery closed the space between them by kissing her deeply. Their arms wrapped around each other as they kissed passionately. It was a kiss neither one of them wanted to forget.

“I love you so much,” Avery said. “You’re gonna be the best mom ever.”

Debra scoffed. “I’m pretty sure that’ll be you.”

“We’ll be the best parents.”

* * *

Holtzmann smashed the band member’s guitar on stage on the TV.

“Sorry, can’t buy you another one.” She gave the guy his broken guitar back.

“I just don’t get why we’re watching this movie,” Debra said. “Ghosts are not real. It’s stupid.”

It had been a week since the doctor had confirmed that yes, Debra was pregnant. She had explained everything that was going to happen. The only thing they didn’t do was an ultrasound because it was still too early.

Currently they were lying on the couch together, eating popcorn in their pajamas while watching  _ Ghostbusters.  _ It wasn’t Debra’s choice but Avery insisted they watched it.

Avery lightly hit Debra on the arm. “I told you. It’s funny how much you look like her. That’s why. You also look like that lady off of  _ Saturday Night Live.  _ The alien abduction lady. You just have a common face or something.”

“Well then you better hope that this baby will have better genes than me,” Debra snorted.

Avery placed a hand gently on Debra’s stomach. “Hey, that’s not what I meant. Our baby will be beautiful no matter what they look like.”

For Debra, it was weird to have Avery touch her like that. It made her feel vulnerable and she didn’t quite like that. She had to remind herself that this was Avery’s baby too and Avery needed some sort of connection with them.

“Are you ever afraid that we’ll lose them?” Debra asked.

“I don’t want to think about stuff like that,” Avery said.

“The doctor said the earlier you are in your pregnancy, the higher you are at risk for miscarriages,” Debra reminded her.

“I’m not really worried, no. People have babies all the time and we can too,” Avery sounded sure of herself which helped Debra some.

“Okay, we won’t lose them.”

* * *

Debra pulled her hair out of her bun before climbing into bed next to Avery, who was already under the covers and ready for bed. 

“Did you post that picture of the new single you’re releasing?” Debra asked, cuddling up next to Avery.

“I’ll do it now,” Avery said and pulled out her phone. Debra closed her eyes and it wasn’t long at all before she fell asleep. She was always tired. Avery posted a quick picture with a caption and closed the instagram app before realizing she had a new text message. It was strange, she thought she had answered all her text messages. It was nearly two in the morning so she wasn’t expecting anyone to text her.

The text was from an unknown number and she knew exactly who it was from. No other message would say congratulations. Not when they hadn’t made a public announcement. She blocked the number quickly but she didn’t know what good that would do, especially since new numbers were easy to get. She couldn’t go to the police though. That would get Debra involved and that’s the last thing she wanted. Debra should focus on the baby she was carrying, not some dumb stalker that had made a mission to creep Avery out.

But for now all she could do was just fall into a restless sleep, because that’s all she knew she could do at the moment.


	6. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery tells Lily her secret.

Avery sat in the recording booth next to Debra, who was listening to her new song. They sat side by side. It was late and no one else was in the studio. Debra looked deep in thought, like she didn’t quite know if she liked the song or not. The song came to an end quickly and Avery looked at Debra, ready to take on whatever she was about to say.

“Are you sure you want this on the album? I think it would do better as a single,” Debra said.

“Why wouldn't I want it on the album?” Avery asked, confused.

“It’s a really good song. You could make more money making it a single,” Debra told her.

“I don’t care about the money.” Avery stood her ground.

“You do. That’s why you joined the industry,” Debra said and stood up. Avery stood up as well.

“Not really, I wanted to get my music out there. I don’t care if I’m rich or poor.”

Debra looked at her sharply. “I’ve been doing this for eleven years, I know what works best in the business.”

“I’ve been doing this for almost five years. I’m not saying that you don’t but it’s my song, I should be able to have a say,” Avery argued.

“Well at the end of the day, it’s my decision. I’ll see you at home.” Debra walked out of the studio and Avery stayed. What had happened? Usually they talked about their problems but that night was different. Debra didn’t even listen to Avery’s side. It was already eleven and Avery needed to get home to sleep because she was supposed to be back in the studio in six hours. She just hoped Debra was asleep when she got back because she couldn’t deal with the mood swings.

  
  


* * *

Debra sat in the kitchen with a frown on her face. She was starving but the list of foods she could consume were small. Nothing would sit right with her and she began relying on soup. Which was fine, but it was boring after a while and Debra prefered to eat salads again and not feel like getting sick because of the dressing or cheese.

Avery came out of the bedroom. “I think that was the best we’ve ever done.”

Debra turned to her. “You think we were the best at sex just then?”

Avery shrugged. “Well, yeah. The bigger breast size definitely helps.”

Avery touched the side of Debra’s boob and Debra practically melted. It hurt a little, but Debra found it hot.

“Why don’t we skip lunch?” Debra suggested and kissed Avery on the lips.

  
  


* * *

Lily put the phone up to her ear as she walked around the outside of the mall. 

“Hey, Avery, what’s up?” She asked, heading to her car.

“Wanna hang out? Debra’s driving me crazy.”

Lily laughed. “I’ll pick you up in ten minutes.”

Avery hung up the phone, changing into a band concert t-shirt, a leather jacket, and leggings, all in black. Debra was napping so it was easy to slip out and leave a note. She loved Debra but Debra had been moody lately and she wasn’t in the mood herself to pick a fight.

“Where are you going?” Debra asked, yawning.

“I’m going to hang out with Lily, go back to sleep,” Avery said, walking out the door.

“Wait,” Debra said.

Avery turned around. “Yeah?”

“Are you not gonna give me a kiss goodbye?” Debra looked hurt.

Avery sighed and walked over to Debra who was still under the covers. It was new to Avery. Usually Debra didn’t get sad about stuff like that.

“I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t want to wake you up.” Avery gave Debra a kiss on her forehead and made sure to give her a hug goodbye.

“Be safe,” Debra said and closed her eyes, falling into a deep sleep.

  
  


* * *

“So what were you doing before?” Avery asked as they drove to get lunch.

Lily shrugged. “Just wandering around and looking for stray dogs.”

“Where’s Amanda?”

“Working,” Lily said.

They drove in silence for a minute, just enjoying each other’s company. Lily handed Avery her vape pen and they passed it back to each other on the way to get food.

“Let’s eat at this mexican restaurant.” Avery pointed at a building. Lily obeyed and pulled into the parking lot. They got out and went inside. They were led to a table and they ordered their drinks.

“How’s Debra?” Lily asked, taking a sip of her water.

“Good? I don’t know? She’s been having a lot of mood swings lately and she always wants to have sex,” Avery admitted.

Lily laughed, “Dude, I wouldn’t complain about that. If Amanda ever wanted that much sex, I would totally be okay with it.”

But Avery wasn’t listening. She noticed the guy sitting two tables down from her. It was weird as he was at least twenty years older than her and he never stopped staring at her. She didn’t know who he was but she got the same feeling in her chest as she did when she got a text from the unknown number. Blocking the number hadn’t been working and she felt more unsafe than ever.

“Lily, we have to go.”

Lily looked at her confused, picking up the sense of urgency in her voice. “Right now? We haven’t even eaten yet.”

“Trust me. Now,” Avery nodded. She was already standing up. She left a few dollars as a tip for their waiter and practically dragged Lily out of the restaurant. 

Lily stomped her foot when they got to the parking lot. “Avery what’s going on? I just ordered an enchilada that I was looking forward to eating and now I have to leave? You have some explaining to do.”

Avery looked left and right nervously before going up to Lily and standing close to her.

“I promise I’ll explain everything. But not here. Please. Let’s go somewhere else and I’ll explain it,” Avery promised.

Lily looked doubtful but listened and climbed in the car with Avery, beginning to drive. The whole time Avery was in the car, she looked at through the side mirror to make sure they weren’t being followed. The last thing Avery wanted was for Lily to be stalked too. They ended up in a gas station parking lot. As far as Avery knew, she wasn’t being followed, but she couldn’t not tell Lily anymore. Lily was her best friend and she was already curious enough.

The sun was setting and she knew she had to get home to Debra soon. She was a little surprised that Debra hadn’t texted her yet and asked if she was coming home soon. But she needed to stay out, especially if she was being followed.

Lily put the car in park. “Will you tell me now what’s going on?”

Avery pulled out her phone and opened Instagram where the DM’s were located. She didn't really know how to tell someone that she had a stalker, but she figured it was best just to come out with it.

“I have a stalker,” Avery said.

“What?” Lily asked, feeling her stomach drop.

“I think it’s a guy. I think I saw him at the restaurant, Lily.” Avery gave her phone to Lily and let her look through all the messages. She put her head in her hands.

“Avery, we have to go to the police,” Lily said, scrolling through the messages. Avery grabbed her phone back and showed her the text messages as well. 

“I already did. They’re working on getting a restraining order,” Avery said and took her phone back for good this time.

“What did Debra say about this?” Lily wondered. 

“She was the one who told me to go to the police.” Avery let the lie slip out of her mouth. She didn’t want to lie but she couldn’t hide this secret anymore. “The restraining order should be official soon so I won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

“Avery, this is really bad.”

What made it worse was that Lily was crying. Maybe it was best that Avery lied. She didn’t want Lily to worry anymore than she had to. She leaned across the car and pulled her friend into a hug. 

“I promise it’ll be okay,” Avery tried her best to reassure her.

Lily hugged her back. “Okay, I trust you.”


	7. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra has her first ultrasound.

The bright lights flashed in Avery’s eyes in the studio. Today was a special day. She was shooting the cover for her fourth album. It was a simple cover with her sitting on a wooden stool in a dark room while she played the electric guitar with a spotlight dropping down on her. Simple, but it was Avery’s favorite so far.

Avery had a full day ahead of her. The photoshoot and two radio interviews. Debra had come with her to make sure everything was set up right. Interviews were tricky because you never knew what the interviewer was going to ask. Even though Avery was an expert in the industry now, she still struggled with what to say. Debra on the other hand always knew what to say to the outside world. Apart from being mean, maybe that’s why Debra was so successful.

“Lunch!” Debra called.

The photographer looked at her. “You know we still have an hour left, right?”

Debra stepped closer to the man. “And I have a client who has other commitments going on until this evening. Lunch is now or she starves to death.”

Avery stepped closer so she could be a part of the conversation, “It’s okay, really. I’ll just take ten minutes for lunch and I’ll be back and we can finish.”

The man nodded. He didn’t really do anything wrong, he was scheduled until the afternoon with her. But everyone knows what Debra wants is what happens. 

Debra walked up to Avery who was grabbing a slice of pizza. Debra grabbed a water bottle and turned to Avery. “I was thinking after work I could-”

But she didn’t get to finish her statement because she felt lightheaded. Her knees nearly gave out on her and she had to grab the table, nearly knocking it over, so she didn’t hit the ground. Everyone in the room looked at her. She was embarrassed, but she wouldn't let it show.

“What are you guys looking at?” She snapped. She didn’t feel quite as bad anymore as she looked around the room.

“Debra, you nearly just collapsed.” Avery held on to Debra’s shoulders, just in case her body decided to betray her again.

“I’m fine, I just need to sit down.” Debra moved towards an available chair and sat down.

“The doctor said it might happen,” Avery reminded her. She opened Debra’s water bottle for her and urged her to take small sips.

“It’s fine. I actually feel a lot better already.”

“Are you sure?” Avery asked. She was worried.

“I’m sure Avery, I’m not going to let this get in the way. You still have a whole afternoon ahead of you.”

Avery looked unconvinced still but Debra gave her a slight nudge. She finished the photoshoot, although she wasn’t really into it anymore. Debra seemed to be fine. She was talking with other people and was standing up. But the last thing she wanted to happen was for Debra to fall completely.

***

Avery was excited for the next day as well. They had their first ultrasound. It seemed a little unreal to Avery. She still couldn’t believe she had agreed to get Debra to have a baby. She would have been okay if they ended up adopting, but she couldn’t help but wanting Debra to carry their child. 

“Why do you insist on wearing these clothes to a doctor's appointment?” Avery asked, gesturing to Debra’s blazer. 

“These are my clothes, Avery.”

“But don’t you want to wear something, I don't know, more comfortable?” Avery asked. They entered the building and Debra signed in.

“I don’t really know if I own anything other than pajamas,” Debra thought as they sat down.

“You should probably get some then because I don’t think those are gonna be super comfortable in a few months,” Avery told her as the nurse called them back. The nurse took Debra’s vitals before telling her to hop up on the bed and the doctor would be with them shortly.

Dr. Britt knocked on the door and came in, getting down to business. Both Avery and Debra both liked how she was young. It helped with the anxiety of a stranger looking at private body parts. 

“Just lay down and relax. Pull your shirt up,” The doctor ordered, getting out the gel that would go on her stomach. She turned the machine on as well and Debra did what she was told to do.

Avery couldn’t help but smile. While Debra’s stomach was once flat, there was now a tiny curve to her body. It wasn’t all that noticeable but Avery knew Debra’s body well enough to know the difference. She grabbed a hold of Debra’s hand and kissed her knuckles.

“This will be cold,” The doctor warned Debra and squeezed a little bit of the gel onto Debra’s stomach and placed the wand over it. A fuzzy image of a baby popped on the screen, making Avery speechless. She was in awe at the image in front of her. That was her and Debra’s baby and she already loved them with all of her heart.

Even Debra was speechless. Debra normally had something to say about everything but this time, she couldn’t find anything. The baby she agreed to carry was now in front of her.

“Your baby looks healthy. They’re about the size of a kiwi. The brain structure is complete,” The doctor listed off. Although it was hard to pay attention when your baby was right in front of you. “You’re doing an excellent job looking after yourself. How are you feeling?”

“I finally don’t have to pee all the time,” Debra stated seriously and the doctor slightly laughed.

“That’s normal around this time,” The doctor nodded.

“I finally can eat more than soup, I get headaches occasionally, and I still feel tired most of the time.”

Avery nods at Debra, happy that she said everything that had been going on with her body.

“All of those are normal. Once you reach the second trimester, you’ll feel less tired,” The doctor informed her and Avery heard Debra whisper something about thanking God.

“One last thing before you go,” The doctor said and a light thumping sound filled the room.

“Is that-”

“That’s the heartbeat,” The doctor smiled and Avery let a few tears roll down her cheeks. She was so excited for this baby.

Debra’s eyes were glued to the screen. She couldn’t believe that she was growing something this special inside of her. Something she never thought she could be capable of doing.

The appointment was done way too fast for Avery’s liking but the photos the doctor printed out were enough for her. She couldn’t wait to show her mom and dad when they got back from Germany. Debra wiped her stomach off and sat up, getting off the table. They said goodbye to the doctor and got in the car, driving off.

“I think I was going to go shopping.”

“Now?” Avery asked.

“Yeah, I might as well go shopping.”

“Do you mind dropping me off?” Avery asked. The last couple days had exhausted her and she really just needed time to herself.

Debra agreed and dropped Avery off at the house before driving off in the direction of the mall. 

Avery fed Snowflake an early dinner and they both curled up on the couch. Avery set up a movie,  _ Grease,  _ to watch while dozing off. She deserved a much needed nap and Snowflake was happy to use her lap as a headrest. It wasn’t long before she dozed off into a light sleep.

Her phone buzzed, jostling her out of her sleep. The movie was finished and Snowflake had gotten up sometime during the movie. She picked up her phone, seeing if there were any messages from Debra. A new message from her stalker appeared on her phone instead.  _ Doesn’t Debra look like a beautiful blonde pineapple. _

The front door slammed shut and Avery’s head snapped towards the door. She quickly got off the couch, grabbing her guitar and holding it up like a baseball bat as she looked around all the corners of the house that led to the door. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and her breathing was heavy. She was ready to defend herself if she needed to. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t scared. She was terrified.

Debra rounded the corner with shopping bags hanging off her wrists. She noticed Avery’s stance and the guitar she held up.

“What?” Debra gave her a weird look.

Relief flooded Avery as she relaxed and put the guitar down.

“Don’t judge what I do in my free time,” Avery said jokingly.

Debra’s look was still weird but she set the bags down on the counter. 

“What do you want for dinner?” She asked.

“Uh, I have an appointment, I’ll be back later,” Avery said, rushing out the door.

She climbed in her car and drove to the only place she could think of in that moment. She walked inside and up to the front desk.

“I need to make an appointment for now.”


	8. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra celebrates her birthday.

“Happy birthday, baby.” Avery kissed Debra’s forehead as she woke up. Debra sighs, stretching a little. She was very glad she had the energy back to be able to make it a whole day without needing a nap. At sixteen weeks, Debra had a cute tummy to show that she was pregnant and Avery thought it was the cutest.

“I told you, it’s another normal day,” Debra said and closed her eyes. “Can’t we just go back to sleep?”

“No can do. Lily and Amamda are coming over in like a half hour. And if I don’t let Lily in, she will let herself in. Man, I regret giving her a key. Anyways, get up!” Avery said, getting off the bed to go get dressed herself.

“Okay, I’m up!” She groaned and sat up. “Do I at least get a good morning kiss?”

Avery went back over and gave her a kiss.

“Can you please tell me why you decided to dye your hair that color?” Debra asked, running her hair through Avery’s longer hair. It was now silver and almost as long as Lily’s, reaching the small of her back.

“I just needed a change,” Avery shrugged.

Snowflake took the opportunity to jump on the bed, making Debra shriek.

“Avery! He knows he’s not supposed to be on the bed! We trained him.”

Avery laughed, “He’s just saying happy birthday. He’s excited.”

Snowflake turns around in a circle three times before laying down next to Debra and resting his head on her legs that were crossed Indian style. Debra reached out hesitantly to pet him.

“I think he knows you’re having a baby,” Avery commented as she brushed her now silver hair. “Dogs know that kinda thing.”

Snowflake relaxed and closed his eyes, happy with the attention that Debra gave her. Avery grabbed a clean pair of clothes and changed into them before grabbing some for Debra.

Avery thought Debra was beautiful. She was free of makeup and her hair was down. She thought she looked a lot younger without makeup and wished she wore less. She climbed in bed again.

“Hey, you’re really freakin’ beautiful,” Avery told her.

“Avery, I don’t know-”

Avery cut her off with a kiss. “You are.”

Debra quickly kissed her back. “Thank you, honey. So are you.”

“Hey! We’re here!” A voice shouted.

Avery pointed at Debra, “I told you.”

Avery let her lover get dressed as she slipped out of the room to greet her friends.

“When do we get to find out the gender?!” Lily squealed as her best friend rounded the corner.

“She didn’t even get to say hello yet,” Amanda reminded Lily.

“I’ll tell you guys later, help yourself to anything in the fridge. We have cake and stuff later too,” Avery told them and pointed at a bottle of champagne. “None for Debra.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Debra asks from behind Avery.

“Our baby needs to be healthy,” Avery sang and kissed Debra’s cheek. “Sit down, I’ll make you some breakfast.”

“It’s good to see you again, Debra. How are you feeling?” Amanda asked. She didn’t hang out with Debra nearly as much as Lily did. While Lily was confident to joke around with Debra, Amanda was still shy, frightened by the older woman.

“My back hurts and I feel like I’m losing my mind,” Debra says.

“It’s just baby brain.” Avery tells her and sets a bagel down in front of her. “The poor girl couldn’t remember what she went to the store for the other day.”

“Avery won’t tell us the gender of the baby. Will you tell us?” Lily asked hopefully. 

“I will tell you when we have cake,” Avery signed.

Lily decided that was good enough for her and went on to talking about how she wanted a baby soon. The rest of the day was filled with laughter and happiness as the girls sat by Debra and Avery’s pool. It was nice and Avery wondered when they could do that again.

“Will you please tell us the gender now?” Lily asked.

“Fine. It’s a girl.” Avery said and Lily jumped up faster than ever.

“I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” Lily celebrated her victory.

Avery watched her friend in amusement as she celebrated with joy.

* * *

Avery locked up the studio as she left. She wasn’t really supposed to have a key to the studio since she didn’t own the place and she wasn’t renting it, but Debra gave her a key anyways. It was past midnight and she was tired. All she wanted was to shower and sleep.

Her head was down as she turned from locking the door and she bumped into someone. She brushed it off and went to step around the person. It was a tall and muscular guy standing in front of her.

“Sorry,” She said and went to move around him.

“Avery?” He asked.

“That’s me,” She confirmed and the guy grabbed her wrist.

“Get in the van,” He ordered and she looked to her left to see a black van waiting for her to get in. It blended in well with the night sky and she figured that’s why she hadn’t seen it before. Her wrist hurt from the man touching her and she yanked her arm away.

“Sorry, I don’t talk to strangers.”

And suddenly she was on the ground from being shoved. Pain shot up her wrist from catching herself on the concrete but it wasn’t enough to where she couldn’t move it.

“I’m not kidding, bitch. Get in the van,” He ordered. His voice was low so he wouldn’t cause attention. Although it was nearly midnight, there were still a few stragglers here and there, making their way home from bars or clubs.

“Okay, geez,” She mumbled and got up to follow him to the car. He opened the van and shoved her inside, slamming the door shut when she was in. She looked around the van and her heart stopped when she realized who was in the van with the guy. 

“Boo,” Janice said as she laid eyes on her. She was sitting in a seat across from her.

“Janice?” Avery asked. Out of all the people who she guessed would stalk her, Janice would not make that list.

“I need a favor from you.” Janice got right to the point. She didn’t seem to be very interested in Avery, just whatever she wanted out of her.

Avery looked around. She could scream and pound on the windows of the van but what good would that do? She would be going up against a man who was at least 250 pounds while she barely weighed 130 pounds. It was an unfair match.

“Okay, what?” She asked.

Janice looked at her, “I need some money.”

Avery looked at her in disbelief, “So that’s why you stalk me and creep the fuck out of me? You couldn’t have just asked me like a normal person?”

Janice shrugged, like she didn’t see what was wrong with it, “I texted and called Debra. She ignored me.”

“Probably for good reason.”

Janice glared at her.

“You’re a prostitute, go out and get money that way. Not that you deserve any of that money.” Avery was met with a slap to her face, making her dizzy for a second.

“Why do you even need the money?” Avery asked, glaring at them both.

“That bitch stole from me and I want it back,” Janice accused. 

“And you couldn’t have brought that up with her when we were at the hospital a few years ago?”

Janice scoffed, “I’m not a heartless person, Avery.”

Avery rolled her eyes.

“That woman has more money than the three of us combined.” Janice pointed to herself, Avery, and the guy who shoved her in the van. “She wouldn’t know if you took some.”

“Which is exactly why I’m not doing it,” Avery told her. “I’m not taking advantage of my wife for her money.”

The guy looked like he was about to charge again and Avery flinched, but Janice held him back.

“Who even is he?” Avery pointed at him.

“He’s my brother,” Janice said, taking out a cigarette.

“Fine, I’ll get the money, okay? Just let me out.” Avery had no intention of doing the favor but she needed to get out. 

It seemed to work for Janice though. “Fair enough. I expect a check soon.”

“You will,” Avery promised.

“Daniel, let her out,” Janice ordered the man and he sighed, opening the door for her.

Avery ran as fast as she could all the way home. Her lungs hurt and she felt like crying but she wouldn’t allow herself to stop until she was home. Debra was already asleep when she got there. Grabbing new clothes, she headed for the shower. 

She couldn’t give the money to Janice. There was no possible way. Even if she wanted to, half of the money that was Debra’s was locked up. Avery couldn’t even get to it. She washed her body before getting out of the shower and wrapping herself in a fluffy towel and changing into pajamas. She had no idea how to make sure her family was safe.

* * *

Lily waited on the park bench. She was anxious, getting a text from your best friend saying that they needed to talk could mean anything. She fiddled with her lavender hair as she waited for Avery.

“Lily?” Avery asked from behind her.

She turned to look at her best friend and her heart dropped when she saw her. Avery looked bad. Her face was red from crying, her hair was in a messy bun, and she wore yesterday’s clothes.

“What’s wrong?” Lily asked instantly.

“I lied,” Avery confessed, tearing up again. “I never went to the police and Debra doesn't know.”

“Oh, Avery,” Lily sighed. If it were other circumstances, she would have been mad about Avery lying but she needed to be there for her.

“I was attacked last night,” Avery hiccupped a little. “They shoved me into a van and they hurt me. It was Janice, Lily. Janice and her brother have been stalking me.”

“Avery we need to go to the police now,” Lily said firmly.

Avery shook her head. “No police, no police. Please. Debra will be furious at me if I go and not tell her what’s going on. Please. Just let me tell her and we can all go together if you’ll believe me that way.”

“Avery, you already lied once. How am I supposed to trust that you’ll go?” Lily asked.

“I already feel so bad about that. But I don’t want to go to the police without Debra. I need her to be there with me.

Lily looked at her, clearly skeptical. “One week or I’m telling Debra myself. I mean that, Avery.”

“One week,” Avery repeated back. “I promise I’ll tell her.”

Lily looked at her friend again to see if she was lying but she couldn’t help but wrap Avery in a hug. Avery needed her most at that time, and Lily promised herself that she would be the greatest best friend that she could possibly be.

* * *

“Wanna join me in the jacuzzi? We haven’t done that in a while.” Avery asked.

Debra agreed, putting her work up and taking off her blazer. Avery took Debra’s hand and led her to the bathroom where they both took off their clothes. Avery started the water and the jets and climbed into the jacuzzi. Debra followed in after and Avery reached out to help Debra climb in. Debra took her hand and sat down and Avery did the same, cuddling up to her.

She placed a hand on Debra’s tummy, “How are you feeling?”

“My back hurts,” Debra groaned, “I’m not used to this.”

“Sit in front of a jet, it might help.”

Debra moved a little to her left but froze.

“What? Are you okay?” Avery asked.

“I think I felt them move?” Debra said and touched her stomach when it happened again.

“I didn’t feel it,” Avery frowned.

“It was very light. But damn, that was incredible,” Debra smiled and Avery smiled back, happy that the day could end so well.


	9. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Avery go on Amanda's boat with Lily

“This is nice,” commented Avery as she stepped onto Amanda’s yacht. Debra and Lily followed suit along with Amanda’s dad, who introduced himself as Steve. He was selling the yacht and wanted to take it for one last ride.

Debra nodded, “It is nice. But it’s not as big as mine.”

Steve laughed, not understanding that she was serious.

“Help yourself to any food or drinks on here, I’ll just be steering at the front.” He disappeared around the corner, leaving the girls to themselves. The weather was surprisingly nice for February and since they lived in LA, it was even nicer. All the girls wore shorts and t-shirts except for Debra who wore an expensive looking tank top along with pants. Avery was just glad she wasn’t wearing a blazer.

Avery still hadn’t told Debra about Janice and her brother. She was going to. But every time she planned to, her chest got heavy and she felt like she was about to get sick. Lily didn’t mention it to Avery so Avery assumed that Lily thought she told Debra.

Twenty weeks was hard for her. Leg cramps, heartburns, and shortness of breath weren’t exactly what she wanted to deal with. She was high on energy though and decided to take advantage of it before she became tired again in upcoming months. Debra sat down with a magazine, propping her swollen feet up. 

Avery knelt down beside her, rubbing her knee a little, “Hey, let me know if you’re feeling sea sick.”

Debra agreed and Avery kissed her cheek.

“Let’s get this party going!” Lily exclaimed and held up a bottle of champagne and a bottle of wine in the other hand. 

“Are you forgetting that Debra can’t drink?” Avery asked.

“There’s juice boxes in the fridge,” Lily offered.

Debra looked up from her magazine. “I’ll just have water.”

“Those are for my nieces. I’ll go get you water,” Amanda offered and vanished inside and grabbed some water for Debra.

“This is a really nice yacht, do you know why they’re selling it?” Avery asked curiously.

“I don’t know but they’re rich as hell. They own like part of Canada,” Lily gushed over her girlfriend’s money. Debra looked impressed.

“I do not own part of a country,” Amanda comes out. “My dad is just good with money. He got a lot once my mom died.”

Debra went back to reading her magazine after hearing that she didn’t, in fact, own part of a country. Lily poured Amanda some champagne and they hung out, exchanging little kisses with each other. Avery enjoyed looking at the ocean while her girlfriend read her magazine. The sun soon began to set, which made the boat ride even more perfect.

“Hey, Avery, will you go get more wine?” Lily asked. 

Avery agreed and went into the little kitchen area of the inside of the yacht. It was stocked with different types of alcohol and different snack foods. She grabbed more wine and a bag of chips for herself.

When she got back, Debra was standing now near the edge of the boat with her arms crossed. Lily held a guilty expression on her face and Amanda just looked uncomfortable.

Debra often lost her temper. That, Avery could deal with. She couldn’t with this. She had only seen this look on her face a couple of times when they were together. Her eyes that glared darts at you. Her lips that were twisted with anger. The feeling of wanting to run and hide so she couldn’t  _ destroy  _ you.

“How dare you.” Debra glared at her.

“What?” Avery asked.

“You didn’t think to mention that Janice was stalking you?” Debra’s voice got louder. 

“I thought about it-”

“Then that makes this situation worse,” Debra accused.

Instead of arguing back, Avery turned to Lily. “How could you tell her? I thought I could trust you!”

Lily shrugged. She was sad but she knew she did the right thing. “I told you I was going to tell her if you didn’t.”

“Delete your instagram account,” Debra ordered.

“I don’t have to do anything,” Avery argued and crossed her own arms.

“You are successful because of  _ me,  _ I’m not messing around. You do what I say,” Debra’s words were harsh and forceful.

“I don’t have to tell my agent everything that goes on in my life,” Avery snapped back.

“So you only think of me as your agent. Good to know,” Debra sounded hurt but when she was hurt, she was mean.

“Did you steal money from Janice?” Avery asked in an accusing voice. “She wants it back.”

Lily and Amanda stayed silent.

“It was when I was in my twenties. Way before we met. And don’t throw this back on me. You’re in the wrong.”

“I’m  _ tired _ , Debra. You benefit from my singing just as much as I do. I’ve been rolling out albums every year for the past four years. So excuse me if I just don’t want to make everything a big deal.” Avery said. The glares between them were enough said, but they all knew this wouldn’t end until harsh words were exchanged.

“I don’t have time to listen to stuff I already know. News flash, sweetie, I  _ am  _ your agent. I know exactly how successful you are. I know how tired you are. You would be nowhere without me. I am the reason for your success.”

Avery didn’t have a come back. Instead she just glared at her. But Debra wasn’t close to being done. The boat passed by a mountain of rocks on the side of the ocean.

“Just take the money. I don’t care,” She looked tired of the conversation, but she couldn’t stop. “You always get what you want. Just like with this kid.”

“Debra, what-”

A sizable wave came in and shook the boat. Debra shrieked as she lost her balance, falling over the side of the boat and hitting her head on the rocks, falling unconscious from the blow.

“Debra!” Avery yelled, trying to figure out the best way off the boat. Amanda ran to the front of the boat, telling her dad to stop the boat. The boat was stopped and the three girls and Steve rushed off the boat. There was blood coming from Debra’s head and Avery was sure that she had a concussion. She wanted to cry but she knew she had to stay strong.

“Amanda, grab some towels from the boat. We need to stop the bleeding,” Steve ordered and Amanda did what she was told. “Lily, call 911.”

“Please wake up, Debra.” Avery couldn’t help but sob. She didn’t know what the damage was and she was scared to find out. The only thing that was keeping her from going insane was the fact that Debra was breathing.

* * *

Avery sat in the waiting room of the hospital along with her friends. Amanda sat next to her and Lily sat on the other side of Amanda, not ready to face Avery yet.

“Debra’s gonna hate me,” Amanda said. She sounded tired and sad and there was a hint of worry in her voice.

Avery looked at her confused.

“It was my yacht,” Amanda explained.

Avery looked ahead. “It was my fault. I was caught up in arguing with her. Debra’s harsh but she won’t blame you. I’ll make sure of it. Maybe I did wrong by asking her to have a baby.”

“You followed your heart. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Amanda reasoned.

“I’m sorry, Avery. I really am.” Lily focused on her knees.

“I know you did the right thing, but right now I’d rather just be mad.”

“Let me know when you’re ready to hug it out,” Lily said and Avery offered a small smile. They all looked and sounded tired.

“Are you here for Debra Hammer?” A doctor walked up to her.

“Yeah,” She looked up, scared of what would happen next.

“Luckily the rock didn’t do any permanent damage to her brain. We stitched up her head and she has a concussion from the fall. We’ll have to wake her up every hour to check on her. The baby looks healthy but she has a fair amount of bruising on her back. We’ll keep her here overnight and if everything looks okay by tomorrow morning, we’ll send her home.”

Avery was so relieved with the doctor’s report that she began to cry again. She would never forgive herself if something happened to her while she was there.

“Can I see her?” She asked hopefully.

The doctor nodded. “She woke up a few minutes ago. I’ll show you to her room.”

Avery said goodbye to her friends, who went home after, and followed the doctor through a series of hallways and into a small room where Debra was. She looked sleepy and out of it.

“We gave her some medicine for the pain so she’ll be out of it the rest of the night,” The doctor said. He checked her monitors and when he was satisfied he left the room. Debra’s hair was down now and she was in a hospital gown, which she knew Debra hated. She was tired and Avery bet that she was the most tired out of all of them.

“How are you feeling?” Avery asked and sat down on a chair next to her bed.

“My head hurts,” Debra groaned.

“I bet.” Avery grabbed Debra’s hand to hold and she sighed in relief when Debra didn’t reject her hand.

They sat in silence for a while. Avery hummed a song while rubbing her thumb along Debra’s hand. Debra drifted in and out of consciousness. 

“Debra?” Avery asked after a while. “I’m really sorry.”

Debra looked at her. “I know you are. It’s okay.”

Avery wasn’t sure if that was Debra talking or the drugs talking.

Avery continued, “Do you really not want to have a baby? Debra, I gave you two outs before we went into that clinic.”

Debra looked at the ceiling, trying not to cry. “I’m really scared.”

Avery looked at her. “I’d be surprised if you weren’t.”

“Are you scared?” Debra asked her.

“Terrified.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. I’m fucking terrified.” Avery admitted. “Because I have no idea what’s going to happen. This is more terrifying than when they nearly had to feed me through a tube because I was so anorexic. At least then I knew what would happen. I would either die or I would gain weight and go to rehab to learn how to eat again. But this is different. Maybe our daughter will find a cure for cancer. Or maybe she’ll be diagnosed with cancer. No mom can be fully prepared for what happens with her child.” Avery looked down.

“Avery-”

“I’m gonna go.” Avery stood up. “I feel like you don’t wanna see me. I’ll be back in the morning.”

“Please-”

“It’s probably for the best. We just had a major fight,” Avery continued.

Debra grabbed onto Avery’s hand. “Stay.”


	10. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra and Avery go to a party.

Avery slammed the trunk closed in the parking lot while Debra waited by her, nodding her head in approval. They had bought a lot of stuff. A crib, a high chair, baby clothes, and even stuff to keep their house safe like protectors for their outlets. They had so much more they needed to buy in the upcoming months, but Avery thought it was a good start.

Debra climbed in the driver’s seat while Avery climbed in the passenger’s. Even on the days where she didn’t feel good, she still insisted on driving. Avery, however, thought that her driver would be needed more in the next couple of months. Her back constantly hurt and her ankles were swollen now too. She thought she was lucky that she didn’t have that many stretch marks littered across her stomach.

The car was turned on and they backed out of the parking lot, getting on the street to take them back home. Avery chose the music, Coldplay, as they rolled down the windows and drove home.

They pulled up to a stoplight and they could clearly hear someone singing. The car next to them was being driven by a younger girl with her windows down as well and it was obvious that she didn’t know anyone was watching her.

“She’s good,” Avery commented.

“She is,” Debra agreed.

The light turned green and both cars sped off.

  
  


* * *

Debra lightly applied mascara to her eyelashes over the bathroom sink. They were both invited to Justin Timberlake’s new album launch party that was being held that night. Debra wore a black dress that complimented her body nicely while Avery wore a black blazer. Avery thought they looked hot in their outfits. 

Avery finished putting on her heels as Debra came out of the bathroom.

“Shoes! I need shoes!” Debra groaned and walked over to the closet. “Shit, they’re on the floor. Avery, can you grab those for me?”

Avery walked into the closet and looked to where Debra was pointing. She was pointing to a brown box under her blazers. Avery reached down and grabbed the box, opening it.

“Not that box!” Debra practically yelled. But it was too late. Avery gasped softly as she realized what was in the box. Pictures of Debra as a child. One of her with a ponytail sticking straight up, her hanging off the edge of a swimming pool, her in a pink sweater blowing a bubble with gum, and her falling asleep in the car were all pictures among many others.

“Why haven’t I seen these before?” Avery asked.

“Because I don’t have parents to do the cliche couple things when I bring home a girlfriend?” Debra’s voice was hard. “We’re going to be late. I meant the box on the right.”

Avery grabbed the heels out of the correct box and helped Debra slip them on. Debra hired her driver for the night and he drove them to the party. The party was filled with people, food, and music. Everything a party needed.

Debra quickly spotted Justin and walked over to him. “Justin! Thank you so much for inviting us to your party. Are you looking for a new agent?” She asked seriously.

Avery and Justin both laughed a little at Debra’s forwardness.

“I’m not,” Justin said.

“Okay well, you let me know if you ever are,” Debra told him and nearly walked away.

“Debra, wait.” Justin stopped her. “I brought my little cousin here. She’s a talented singer and is looking for an agent.” He pointed to a girl by the chocolate fountain.

It was the same girl that was in the car next to them while driving home. Debra’s eyes widened as she saw the girl. She  _ needed _ to get her under a contract. A singer like her wouldn’t be on the market forever.

“Well I’m going to go talk to her. Besides, dipping that bread in the chocolate fountain looks delicious right now.” Debra walked off towards the girl.

“Oh no,” Avery muttered.

Justin looked at her.

“I can’t wait to listen to the album,” Avery smiled. Justin gave his thanks.

“I’m gonna go see what they’re talking about.” Avery gave one last smile and walked off, her heart sinking when she heard the conversation.

“I can get you a tour in six months,” Debra told the girl. The girl looked impressed like she really wanted it. But Debra was lying. Avery knew it. Debra had changed a lot over the past few years but one thing stayed the same. The glint in her eyes when she wanted something was still a familiar look that didn’t leave Debra’s face for long. The look of  _ greed.  _

Avery decided she needed to step in before it got too far. She knew she was going to get in trouble later. She wasn’t supposed to talk to Debra when she was working with clients.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked Debra. Debra glared at her with daggers in her eyes but she didn’t say no. “You have a great voice,” Avery told her as she dragged Debra away.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Debra snapped.

Avery fired right back, “How dare you take advantage of her!”

“I’m stretching the truth. That is not taking advantage of her!” Debra defended herself.

“There is no possible way for her to get a tour in six months! It’s going to at least take a year for her to be able to record an album. She’s new to the industry and she’s going to believe everything you say,” Avery said harshly.

“It doesn’t matter because the minute she steps on that stage, I’m going to be rolling in money.”

“Not when she figures out that you’re lying to her,” Avery snapped.

“She’s gonna be under a contract-”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.” A voice said. “I’d rather not be taken advantage of.”

Both women look over to see the girl with her arms crossed.

“Thanks for the offer but I’m gonna have to pass it up,” The girl said and walked off.

Debra’s head snapped towards Avery. “I’m going to go get more bread and chocolate. Do  _ not  _ follow me.”

  
  


* * *

The rest of the night was filled with silence between the two of them. The party was fun but Avery felt guilty for calling Debra out and Debra was just plain mad. Debra plopped herself on the couch.

“My feet fucking hurt,” She moaned and Avery went over and bent over to help take her shoes off.

“Debra!” She scolded. Angry red marks were etched into the top of her swollen feet from the heels. “Could you please refrain from wearing these?”

“They were over a thousand dollars, Avery. They must be worn.”

“Well, you can wear them all you want once you have the baby,” Avery reasoned. She sat down next to Debra and turned Debra’s body so she could massage her aching feet. “Hey?”

“Yeah?” Debra asked. She was laying on the couch now with her feet on Avery.

“Why didn’t you want me to see those pictures of you?” Avery asked.

“I don’t know. They’re not me anymore.” Debra shrugged.

Avery looked at her in disbelief. “Are you trying to forget your past?”

Debra shook her head. “I know that’s me but I’d rather keep them in the back of my head, like in the back of my closet, than share them with the world. I don’t identify as that girl anymore. Besides, I don’t think I’m allowed to grieve anymore. It’s been over fifteen years since my mom died and three years since my dad died.”

Avery shook her own head this time. “Deep down, that girl is you.”

“I need to protect her because no one else did!” Debra said. There were tears in her eyes and she struggled to get up from the couch.

Avery put a hand over her leg. “I’m protecting you. It’s my job to protect you as your wife. And do  _ not  _ let time control your emotions.”

Debra stayed quiet, knowing Avery was right.

“Are you mad at me about tonight?” Avery asked.

Debra sighed, “No, it’s over. There’s no use being mad.”

Avery sighed in relief.

“But don’t ever fucking do that again,” Debra scolded.

Avery nodded in agreement and laid next to Debra on the big couch. Avery yanked her hand back in surprise as she felt something move.

“Was that-”

“Yeah, the little monster hasn’t stopped moving all day,” Debra confirmed.

Avery put her hand back in the same spot, smiling as she felt it again and kissed Debra’s cheek. “I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever.”

They rested on the couch for a few minutes, enjoying their unborn child’s movements. Everything about this pregnancy had been magical so far and Avery thought they were very lucky to have not experienced any complications. 

Avery sat up after a while, “Time for bed.” She got up and helped Debra sit up.

“Are you going to help me get off this couch? It’s low,” Debra asked and Avery giggled as she helped her wife up and went to bed.


	11. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery and Lily talk.

Avery sucked in a breath as she knocked on Lily’s door. It had been two months since they spoke and Avery wanted her best friend back. Yes, she was mad at Lily for telling Debra about Daniel and Janice but she was over that now. She hadn’t been bothered since and she figured she was safe now. All she needed now was her best friend back. She just didn’t know if Lily was mad at her too.

The door opened and Raisin all but bounced outside, happy to be in the outdoors. She looked at Amanda who had answered the door.

“Can I talk to Lily?” She asked, biting her lip nervously.

Amanda smiled at her comfortingly. “Lily!”

Lily peeked her head around the corner. “Hi.”

Amanda disappeared to give them their privacy. They sat on the steps that led to the door and watched as Raisin sniffed the grass and flowers that were blooming.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk. I know you were just trying to protect me and I shouldn’t have gotten mad,” Avery said. “I’m sorry.”

Lily sighed, wrapping her arms around herself. “There was no way I couldn’t tell Debra. I hate the thought of knowing that something bad could have happened to you. If something happened to you and I knew about it and didn’t do anything, I would never forgive myself. And neither would Debra.”

“It’s too much sometimes. Having this pressure to be perfect all the time because everyone’s watching.” Avery picked at her fingers.

“Would you ever consider taking a break from it all?” Lily asked.

Avery sighed, “I think so. I’d definitely have to talk to Debra about it though. And it wouldn’t be forever. I was so lucky that Debra found me and I can’t just give that up.”

“Maybe not,” Lily agreed. “But you come first.”

Avery looked at Lily and smiled. Raisin chose that time to walk out of the yard and into the next yard.

“Raisin! You know better than that!” Lily gasped. Avery laughed.

“Are we okay?” Avery asked hesitantly.

Lily grinned, “We’ve been best friends since kindergarten. We’re not gonna let a fight stand in our way. Come on, we’re gonna grab Raisin and go have a sleepover for old times sake.”

* * *

Avery felt a weight being lifted off her shoulders as she spent the night with Lily. It felt like all of her problems were solved. They ate pizza and watched old movies while filling their stomachs with alcohol. It was a break that Avery needed.

Avery had walked to Lily’s house and it was nice enough weather to walk back home as well. It gave her time to clear her head. In just a few months, she was going to be a mom. It was new and exciting and scary all at the same time. She wanted to be the best mom possible for her child and if that meant that she needed time away from the spotlight, then she would do it.

“Avery?” A girl asked. She looked to be about thirteen and she wore a huge smile on her face.

A fan. Avery loved her fans and she was so grateful that she had people of all ages all over the world who loved her music just as much as she loved making music.

Avery put on a smile. “Hi!”

“Will you sign my phone case?” The girl asked and held her white phone up.

“Yeah!” Avery said. “Do you have something I can sign with?”

The fan panicked and her mom held out a sharpie. Avery wondered if she’ll be as organized as this mom was.

“I bought tickets to the show here in August,” The girl told her.

Avery smiled more. “I can’t wait to see you there!”

Avery looked up and saw Daniel walking towards her. She frowned and looked back at the fan. There was no way she was going to let a fan be in danger because of her.

“Hey honey, I gotta go, but it was really cool meeting you,” Avery told her.

“Let’s leave this nice girl alone now,” Her mom said and Avery was thankful that her mom stepped in. She walked away before anyone could hear whatever Daniel was about to say.

She felt a hand grab onto her shoulder and she didn’t need to look back to make sure it was Daniel. The grip was too firm for her and she wanted to run away.

“Smile and walk,” He said. He was smiling as well and talking through gritted teeth.

Avery smiled as they continued to walk down the street together. “You don’t get to interfere with me when I have fans talking to me. You don’t get to punish them for something you want from me.”

“Why haven’t I received a check yet?” He asked.

“I’m working on it. I guess you don’t seem to understand that I don’t have money growing on the trees in my backyard.” She tried to shrug him off but his grip just got harder. Yelling would do nothing for her safety as he knew where she lived.

“You’ll have a check coming your guys’ way soon. I promise. Now if you don’t mind, I have to get home.” This time, shrugging him off did work but he didn’t let her walk away just yet.

“I’m sure you don’t want something to happen to Debra or the baby. This is your final warning,” He challenged.

“Woah,” She whipped around to look at him. “You’re taking this too far. I will get you that money, I can promise you that. But the second you threaten my family, that’s when I would call you psycho. Leave me the hell alone.”

Daniel smirked and walked away, leaving Avery to panic by herself. Debra was waiting for her back at home and she didn’t want to worry or anger her. She shoved it to the back of her brain and continued to walk home, ignoring the pain in her shoulder.

  
  


* * *

Debra sat on the couch a couple of days later. She looked miserable. Her back and feet were hurting all the time and she barely got any sleep now, even with the pregnancy pillow that Avery had bought her. The braxton hicks were the worst part. 

A couple weeks ago, she had woken up in the middle of the night and they thought she was going into labor very early. It turned out the pressure in her stomach that felt like a mild stitch was just the body’s way of preparing for labor when the time actually came. It was exhausting and all she wanted was to get the baby out of her.

Avery flew through the door and sat next to her wife, who was trying to get comfortable.

“Did you finish it?” Debra asked.

Avery grinned widely, “I finished it. I finished the album.”

Debra grinned as well and took Avery into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. I know it hasn’t been an easy year for you.”

Debra rubbed Avery’s back a little and Avery practically melted. It was rare that Debra gave affection like this. Whether it was with words or actions, Avery always knew moments like this were precious and not always easily given. It made her enjoy them more.

“The album is set to be released in August,” Debra told her. 

Avery nodded. “Enough work for now. Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“If you can figure out a way to make me comfy, I’ll be forever grateful,” Debra groaned and tried to get comfy again.

“Let’s go to our bed,” Avery suggested and stood up, offering a hand to Debra. Debra took it and stood up before Avery led them to their bedroom. She pulled the covers back and fluffed up Debra’s pillows for her to lay back against. 

“Now you rest, baby. You deserve it. I’m gonna go shower and change into pajamas really quick.” Avery kissed her wife’s forehead before disappearing into the bathroom. She shrugged her clothes off and looked into the mirror at her shoulder. A purple bruise had appeared from where Daniel grabbed her. She ran her fingers lightly over the bruise and tried not to wince in pain as she did so. 

It was bad, yes. But she could deal with a bruise. She wasn’t sure how much longer Debra could deal with being pregnant though.


	12. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra is an emotional wreck.

Avery walked in from a meeting with her choreographer to a panicked Debra. She was pacing back and forth and her hands were on the sides of her head like she had a headache. She looked very uncomfortable as she was in a blazer and heels still with her hair pulled up and her contacts in. But she had been home most of the day, except for the morning.

“Honey, What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Avery, asked, immediately concerned.

“I can’t find my planner,” Debra panicked.

Debra’s planner was her lifeline. Without her planner, there would be no shows, no albums, and no stars were made. She needed the book to function and now it was missing.

“It has to be around here somewhere. It never leaves your hand,” Avery said. It was just then that she realized that the kitchen was a mess. Everything in the kitchen was out of order. Even the dishes. Avery quickly went into a panic as well. Had her wife lost her mind? Why would she think her planner would be with the pots and pans? Her mind quickly became sensible again when she realized that Debra didn’t need the added stress at the moment.

“Hey, please take a breath and sit. You don’t need the extra stress right now.” Avery walked over to her wife and helped her sit down in a kitchen chair. “It’s around here somewhere, babe. I know it.”

Debra put her head in her hands. “I need to find it. It’s gonna be bugging me until I do.”

Avery rubbed Debra’s back. “I know, baby. We’ll find it. Let’s retrace your steps. Where have you gone since you got home?” Avery asked in a gentle voice. Most of the time, her soothing voice was able to calm Debra down, but in this moment, it just made Debra panic more. Her soothing voice meant something was wrong and when something was wrong it was time to panic.

Debra groaned as she tried to get up quickly and headed towards their home office. She looked in the desk drawers. She looked behind the desk in case it fell back. She even looked between the couch cushions. But even after searching throughout the whole office, the planner was nowhere to be found. 

Quite frustrated, in one giant sweep, Debra shoved everything off the desk. It didn’t help, it only created more of a mess in the house. Tears sprang to Debra’s eyes. She had no idea where she had placed her planner and no thoughts were looking like they were gonna come to her.

Avery started to worry too. Where was it? The more time it took them to find it, the more worked up Debra would become. She didn’t want anything to happen to the baby and she didn't want anything to happen to Debra.

“Are you missing anywhere? Our bedroom, the car, the living room?” Avery listed off.

Debra’s eyes widened as she heard the word car. She quickly got up again, hearing Avery’s words to be careful as she rushed to grab her keys. Sure enough as she looked through the tinted window, her planner was laying on the passenger seat of the car.

She yanked the door open and grabbed it. How could she have not realized that she left it in the car? She felt foolish. This was so unlike her in many ways. She was used to being on top of things with a sharp mind and now it felt like her brain was betraying her.

Avery sighed in relief when Debra walked back in with the planner in her hand. Except this Debra looked annoyed. Avery guessed that she was annoyed at herself but she couldn’t quite be sure. The best way to handle a situation like this with Debra was to just leave her to calm down.

Avery ordered some food from GrubHub for dinner from their favorite restaurant that they went on dates to a lot. She quickly ate her meal once it arrived and decided that it was time to check on Debra. She gathered Debra’s food that she ordered for her and Snowflake followed her to their shared bedroom.

“Hey, I got you some food,” Avery said and placed it on the nightstand along with some water. Debra put down the work she was doing and studied the food before sighing her thanks. 

Snowflake hopped up on the bed to share the food with Debra but Avery was quick to get him off the bed before Debra got worked up again. Avery crawled up to Debra and snuggled up to her.

“Hey. we both have a few days off starting tomorrow, why don’t we take some time to ourselves? Check into a hotel, one with a hot tub and a nice pool and just relax. Just for a day or so?” Avery offered.

“I don’t know, Avery,” Debra sighed. “Is now really the best time? I’m a bloated whale and I’ve still gotta get stuff done even if it’s from home.”

Avery clung onto her a little more. “Please? For me? We need time to ourselves before the baby comes.”

Debra took a minute to think about it while eating her food. “I suppose.”

Avery squealed in happiness and kissed her wife’s cheek. She was very excited to spend time alone with Debra before their baby entered the world.

* * *

Avery threw the suitcases on the floor next to the hotel bed. They weren’t too far away from home. Only an hour. They booked the hotel, packed stuff to last them a couple of days and their driver transported them to the hotel where they’d stay for the weekend.

She flopped down on the bed and closed her eyes. She reminded herself that this quick getaway was about them and them only. Who knew when the baby was going to come now and she thought they both deserved some time to relax before their lives would become even more chaotic. 

“Hey, do you wanna head to the pool maybe and relax?” Avery asked. Her eyes were still closed. When Debra didn’t respond, she opened her eyes and looked over at the older woman.

Avery felt her heart sink when she realized that Debra’s head was in her hands and she was softly crying on the edge of the bed. Avery jumped up and went to her wife’s aid.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” Avery asked softly and wrapped her arms around Debra. Debra wasn’t a hugger in the slightest, but Avery loved hugs and so she tried to comfort Debra the same way she would want to be comforted.

“I don’t know,” Debra sobbed. Avery knew Debra was cringing on the inside. 

“I just feel gross. Inside and out. I couldn’t even find my planner the other day and I usually always know where it’s at. I’ve gained like thirty pounds since October and I’ll probably gain more and I just feel like a big pile of uselessness,” Debra sobs.

Avery kissed her head and rubbed her back some. She knew this was hard for Debra. Being pregnant was everything Debra despised to be and she had specifically asked for Debra to do it.

“I really wish I could get pregnant, Debra.” Avery looked sad as well. “I’m so sorry I can’t be that person. Don’t worry about the planner. Everyone has moments where they can't remember things, even me. And honey, what you’re doing is an awesome thing. You should be proud of yourself for being able to grow this tiny human. You’ve taken such good care of yourself and now you should relax because that tiny human is going to come into our lives soon and they’re going to demand your attention even more than I do.”

Debra laughed a little and laid down against the pillows to relieve some of the pressure on her back and sniffled a couple of times. “I guess you’re right.”

Avery kissed her and wiped away her tears. “I am. Now let’s go to the hot tub. It’ll help relax your muscles. I promise.”

It took Debra a few minutes to get her emotions in check but then they both changed into swimsuits. Avery had on a navy blue bikini that complimented her long silver hair and Debra had recently bought a black one piece that fit her nicely. They wrapped towels around themselves and headed down to the pool area where they used the hottub.

They slipped off their shoes and put their towels down before carefully getting into the tub. Avery wrapped her arm around Debra’s waist and took Debra’s hand with her other hand to make sure she wouldn’t slip. Debra’s balance had been off recently and the last thing that needed to happen was for Debra to slip and fall.

Debra carefully sat down in front of a jet and couldn’t help but let out a moan as the jet hit her lower back. Debra normally had a lot of tension in her muscles and the added weight didn't help at all. Avery sat next to her and sighed. The hot tub felt good.

“Do you think we’re gonna stay together?” Debra blurted out.

Avery looked at her confused. “I would hope so. We’ve been married for three years now and we have a baby. If I didn't think we would make it, I wouldn't offer to have a baby with you.”

Debra looks down. “I don’t want our baby to have a bad life. I’m already worried about being a bad mom and-”

Avery put a finger to Debra’s lips. “Hey, stop that. You’re going to be a great mom. Every mom has a slightly different parenting style and yours isn’t going to be bad. Our little girl is going to be perfect because you’re going to be her mother.”

Debra scoffed but smiled, “I’m pretty sure she’ll be perfect because you’ll be her mother.”

“She’ll be perfect because  _ we’ll  _ be her mothers,” Avery smiled.

“But what about us?” Debra still wondered.

“I like to think we know each other,” Avery thought out loud. “We know the ins and outs of each other. We know what makes us happy and we know what makes us upset. We know what works for us. And we trust each other and communicate. I think the last two things are so important for a marriage and we can handle that.”

Debra shrugged, still looking down. “I’m not a good communicator.”

Avery struggled with what to say there. She didn’t want to lie. Debra did have a hard time with communication and Avery guessed that she would for the rest of her life. But that didn’t mean Debra was a bad person. And she needed Debra to know that.

“But you  _ try _ ,” Avery said. “And that’s what’s important.”

“I try really hard Debra. You have to believe me,” Debra insisted.

Avery kissed her head, “I do believe you, babe. You’re doing a really good job. Debra, we would have never gotten this far if I didn't think you were.”

Debra seemed to believe her because she rested her head on Avery’s shoulder and Avery wrapped her arms around her as they snuggled against each other in the hot water.

“Hey, do you wanna go upstairs?” Avery asked. She traced her finger on the side of one of Debra’s boobs.

Debra gave her a look. “I like what you’re thinking but I can barely bend my body so I don’t think we’re going to get anywhere.”

“I’ll do all of the work,” Avery offered.

“Then what are we waiting for?”

* * *

Debra sighed as her driver pulled to their house. It had been a lovely weekend and now it had to end. They had spent a lot of time in each other’s arms while going to the pool a lot and eating expensive food off the room service menu. It was very relaxing and she didn’t like the thought of going home. 

Avery made sure to thank the driver as Debra never did so and lugged their luggage to their bedroom after greeting Snowflake. Lily and Amanda had agreed to house sit and feed Snowflake. Debra felt a little uncomfortable with them staying in their house but Avery reassured her and told her that they would take care of the house.

“Hey,” Avery got Debra’s attention who was making sure that everything in the house was safe still.

Debra looked at her. “Yeah?”

“I have a surprise for you,” Avery grinned and gently took Debra’s hand, leading her to one of the guest rooms in their house.

It had been completely transformed. What was once a guest room with minimal decorations was now a zoo themed nursery. The crib and changing table was set up and there was a rocking chair in the corner. There were stuffed animals in the crib but those would be taken out when they put their baby in. The part that, surprisingly, amazed Debra the most was the paintings on the wall. Debra could paint. Avery knew that. But the people who really were gifted with the artist's hands were Lily and Amanda, who were just finishing up.

The walls were covered in animals from zebras to lions to elephants. It was a fantastic job for only having two days to complete it. Debra walked over to the crib and picked up the stuffed elephant that sat in the crib. It was the same elephant that Debra bought Avery on her first tour. She walked over to the rocking chair and sat down, looking at the elephant.

“You did this for us?” Debra sounded very surprised and she sniffled. She also took off her glasses that she was wearing. Even though she tried to wear them all the time, contacts were uncomfortable sometimes.

“Yeah, dude. You’re our best friends. We couldn’t not do something,” Lily said, like it was obvious.

Debra wiped her eyes. She felt special but she didn’t feel like she deserved it.

“You’ve been doing a lot of work lately. Let us help,” Amamda said.

“I don’t deserve it,” Debra said.

“Is she okay?” Amanda whispered to Avery.

“She’s just a hormonal monster. She cries at the drop of a dime,” Avery whispered back and then turned her attention to Debra. “Baby, you do deserve it!”

Avery sat on the ottoman and leaned over to kiss her forehead and hold her close. “You’ve been working so hard recently. The least I can do is surprise you with a cute room for our baby.”

“We’ll leave you to it,” Lily said.

“Wait!” Avery stopped her and got up. “Come with me.”

Lily followed her out to the hallway where Avery turned around and tried to hand her a few hundred dollar bills.

“Thanks for the room, Lily. It’s far better than what I could ever imagine.” She shoved the bills towards her friend.

Lily shook her head. “Are you kidding me? I’m not accepting that! My best friend is about to become a mom! I had to do this!”

Lily herself started tearing up and Avery groaned.

“Are you kidding me? You cannot be crying too. I literally have an emotional wreck of a wife in the other room and now you’re crying too? Pull yourself together.” Avery sounded stern but she took her friend into a hug. 

“You sound like Debra,” Lily said into Avery’s shoulder.

“She rubs off after a while,” Avery laughed a little. “But hey, Lily?”

“Yeah?” 

“Thanks for always being a great friend.”

Lily drew her best friend into another hug. 

“Okay, hugging is over,” Debra said as she came out of the nursery.

“Can we not hug it out?” Lily asked and Debra shook her head.

“Nope,” She said. “You’ve been here too long.”

Amanda couldn’t help but giggle from behind her which made everyone else giggle. Debra was the only one who didn’t because she was completely serious about her statement. 

“We better leave them be,” Amanda told Lily.

They all gave their thanks and goodbyes before Debra and Avery settled down in their bedroom for the night. Exhaustion had hit them quickly. Debra was the big spoon this time and wrapped Avery up in her arms.

“Hey,” Debra started. “Thanks for this weekend. And the room. It was all very sweet.”

“No problem, babe,” Avery mumbled. She was half asleep.

“I don’t know, maybe I don’t say thank you very much. But you’ve given me so much that I could never give myself,” Debra said and Avery forced herself to wake up.

“It goes both ways. There’s so much that I couldn’t do without you too. And I’m not talking about being a Grammy winning artist.” Avery drew shapes on Debra’s arm to give her something to do so she wouldn’t fall asleep.

“But I did make you a great artist.”

Avery laughed. “Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome,” Debra said seriously.

“But seriously. Before we met, I could barely even find a way to love myself. And I have now thanks to you. And I’m gonna have a baby soon. You’ve given me the best life possible,” Avery said.

“And so have you, my love.” Debra kissed her temple. “Go to bed. It’s late.”

Avery mumbled out an agreement and closed her eyes. Debra did the same. But they were quickly interrupted when the furry dog jumped on the bed.

Avery groaned. She didn’t want Debra to get mad. “Snowflake! Off the bed!” 

Debra sighed with her eyes still closed. “Let him stay for tonight. He likes it here better than the floor.”

Avery grinned at Debra’s words and the three, almost four, happy family members fell asleep for the night, cuddled up together.


	13. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel comes back for one more visit.

Avery’s brain was numb. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t feel. She couldn’t move. All she could do was stare ahead out the windshield of the car. Lily was panicking and if Avery hadn’t blocked her out then she would have been afraid that Lily was going to hyperventilate. And maybe hyperventilating was the more appropriate response in this situation.

Lily took Avery by the shoulders and shook her to snap her out of her trance.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Lily screamed in her face but Avery couldn’t move or speak. Almost as if an unknown force was stopping her. But she couldn’t stop now. She had to get away from the accident before it could end even more badly. If that was possible.

_ Eight hours earlier _

“Morning, babe,” Avery said, kissing Debra.

Debra groaned, “I’ve been awake for hours. The baby is taking over my lungs. And I’ve had braxton hicks since last night.

“You could have woken me up, babe! Are you sure they’re not real?” Avery asked. She was very concerned.

“They haven't gotten closer together and they stop when I change positions so I’m pretty sure the baby is not coming,” Debra sighed.

“Okay, well you guys deserve today to rest.” Avery kissed her wife again and ran a hand over Debra’s stomach. “I’m going to make breakfast for you guys. Stay here. I mean it.”

Avery climbed off the bed and headed to the kitchen to make food for her loved ones. She checked that Snowflake was fed with the automatic dog feeder and moved to the stove to cook some eggs with toast and bacon, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She was meant to be at a meeting in a couple hours to finish completing her album before August and then she was gonna hang out with Lily. An easy day.

Debra would stay home. Of course, Avery would let her come with her if she really wanted to but Debra had become more and more tired and she needed all the rest she could get before the baby came.

“Are you still hanging out with Lily after the meeting?” Debra asked.

Avery jumped and touched the hot pan with the side of her hand, making her yelp in pain. Debra waited at the kitchen table for a response.

“Debra! You are the worst listener!” Avery said, running over to the sink to put water on the burn. “Yes, I’m hanging out with Lily. Could you please nap while I’m out at least?”

“You’re like my mother. But even my mom wasn’t this bossy,” Debra said.

“Okay, you are going to hurt yourself if you don’t slow down.” Avery sat by her. “Please? You only have four weeks left. You can do this, babe. I know you can.”

“Fine.” Debra glared. 

The smoke alarm started to blare, making them both jump. Avery jumped up and grabbed a dish towel, waving it around the alarm to stop it. She sighed in relief when it did.

“Okay, I’m just gonna finish up breakfast and then I’m gonna get ready and go,” Avery said. Sure there were complications but it was still a good morning. She wasn’t going to let anything ruin her day.

* * *

“Shopping time!” Lily sang as she jumped in the car with Avery. Shopping was a sport to Lily and it was one of the things that her and Debra had in common.

Avery grinned, happy that her friend was happy as they drove off to the mall, ready to blow their money. Before meeting Debra, Avery was an average person when it came to money. She wasn’t poor but she wasn’t rich either. Now she had a lot of money. Her and Debra both had their own bank accounts but they also shared one. All three bank accounts were full of money that they didn’t know what to do with. Even her habits had changed. She knew six hundred dollars wouldn’t be the end of the world anymore because it would quickly be replaced.

They shopped until their feet were sore and the bags around their wrists were cutting off their circulation. They were hungry and needed food to give them more energy. Chinese was always what they did when they went to the mall and this was no time to break the tradition.

They sat down across from each other with their food and drinks, ignoring the people sitting by them and walking past them. They filled their stomachs with food and chatted about anything and everything that was going on with their lives.

“I just don’t know if we’re ever gonna get engaged,” Lily said. “We’ve been together for almost four years. That’s a long time to just be dating, right?”

Avery bit on her straw before responding, “I think so, but I guess I wouldn’t worry about her not proposing. If she wasn’t in this for the long run, she would have broken up with you already. Why don’t you propose?”

Lily looked down and shrugged.

Avery smiled sadly and took her friend’s hand. Sometimes actions spoke louder than words.

“I need to stop at one more place before we go home,” Avery told Lily after a while. “Debra says the chinese gives her more heartburn than usual so we’ll stop and get her a sandwich and we’ll go home.”

Lily agreed and they threw their trash away before getting into the car and driving off. They blasted music from their phones and sang along to the tunes as they cruised down the road. But something was off. Avery looked into the side mirror of her Jeep and panicked when she saw Daniel’s car following her.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Avery cussed as she tried to focus on the road.

“What?” Lily asked. She turned down the music so she could hear Avery better. “What’s wrong?”

“We’re being followed,” Avery said. 

“What?” Lily asked, already beginning to panic.

“Daniel is like three cars behind us,” Avery informed her and Lily looked through her side mirror.

“Oh fuck!” Lily almost yelled. “What are we gonna do?”

Avery’s mind wandered. She already got her last warning a few months ago. She knew Daniel well enough to know this wasn’t going to be a warning. And she didn't even know if Janice was in the car too.

Debra. Debra was at home and very close to having a baby. She had no idea that Daniel was still out to get them. Avery almost vomited when she had her next thought. Had he already paid a visit to their house? Was Debra okay? She was in no shape to fight and Daniel was much bigger than she was.

“Avery, focus on the road!” Lily said as they nearly side swiped someone.

It was at that moment that Avery’s brain shut off. No more thinking. Just doing. She swerved into the other lane, hearing Lily shriek. Sure enough after a couple of minutes, Daniel got into the same lane as him. She sped up and they were definitely way over the speed limit.

“Just drive around and try to lose him or something!” Lily yelled, holding onto one of the Jeep’s handles.

Avery drove as far as she could. But with every twist and turn that she took, Daniel was right behind her. What was going to happen when she gave up? Daniel didn’t look like he was going to stop anytime soon but Avery couldn’t drive forever. Eventually, she would have to stop.

Lily’s heart was pounding in her chest. She knew that Avery had a stalker but after Debra’s accident on the boat, she thought it was taken care of. She wondered deep down inside if Avery was trustworthy or if she just didn’t care. She thought her best friend would handle a situation like this more maturely.

Lily looked around her and had realized the car had stopped. They were on a cliff. The cliff was rocky and big and Daniel would have to drive pretty close to her to not lose her.

“Avery, why are we here?” Lily gasped out.

“I don’t know, I just ended up here.” Avery’s voice was shaky and held no emotion unlike twenty minutes ago when she was full of panic.

“Call the cops, Avery.”

“No, I’ve got this. I don’t need them,” Avery disagreed.

“Call the cops!” Lily demanded.

“No.”

Lily reached over the seat and grabbed Avery’s phone that was in one of the shopping bags in the back.

“Shit!” Avery yelled and Lily was jerked back as Avery stepped on the gas. She turned to look out the back of the jeep to see Daniel and Janice right on the back of their car in the SUV. They were dangerously close to the edge of the cliff now and Avery made a hard left turn to avoid it.

But Daniel couldn’t. His car was too big and the turn he tried to make wasn’t tight enough either. Avery watched in horror in the mirror as the SUV dove off the cliff and her ears were filled with the sounds of glass shattering and metal crushing. She slammed on the brakes to digest what had happened.

“There’s no way they survived that,” Lily said after it had stopped. Her voice was shaky and her breathing was getting uneven.

Avery’s brain was numb. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t feel. She couldn’t move. All she could do was stare ahead out the windshield of the car. Lily was panicking and if Avery hadn’t blocked her out then she would have been afraid that Lily was going to hyperventilate. And maybe hyperventilating was the more appropriate response in this situation.

Lily took Avery by the shoulders and shook her to snap her out of her trance.

“What the fuck did you do?!” Lily screamed in her face but Avery couldn’t move or speak. Almost as if an unknown force was stopping her. But she couldn’t stop now. She had to get away from the accident before it could end even more badly. If that was possible.

“We need to get out of here,” Lily said, still freaking out. “If you’re not gonna call the cops, then we need to leave so no one sees us.”

Avery stayed quiet but put the car in drive and drove. She didn’t know what to do so just drove home. Debra needed to know. Even if Debra called the cops, it would be okay. Debra always knew what to do in every situation, even the worst ones.

* * *

“You what?” Debra asked.

“Daniel and Janice are dead,” Avery told her for the fifth time. “I killed them.”

“You what?” Debra asked again.

“She didn't mean to kill them. It was just driving gone wrong,” Lily tried to help.

Debra glared at her.

“What do we do?” Avery asked, looking down.

“We’re not calling the cops, that’s what we’re not doing,” Debra said. “Your career will be over the second you press call.”

Avery and Lily stayed quiet as Debra got up off the couch and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Avery asked.

“These stupid braxton hicks are killing me,” Debra groaned. “I need to move around.”

“What are we going to do?” Lily asked.

“You better hope and pray that no one witnessed that. Because if that happens then I have to drop you from the agency at the very least. I can’t have someone in legal trouble in the agency.”

Debra walked away and Avery and Lily looked at each other. Was that it? Was that all they were gonna do? Avery almost wanted to call the police herself but she figured that someone had already reported the accident to the police or they would soon. It would only get her in trouble if she did it now.

“It’ll be fine, the cliff is deserted anyways. No one else was near it,” Lily tried to reason. “It’ll be fine.”

“It’ll be fine,” Avery said to herself. But would it be?


	14. July

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Debra goes into labor.

Debra laughed sarcastically, “You want to take a break from your career?”

“Yes,” Avery looked down. “I feel burned out and I feel that if I take a break, I’ll be able to come back and be better.”

“Do you realize what you’re asking?” Debra asked, scratching the side of her stomach and wincing. They were in the kitchen and had just finished dinner. “No, Avery. I can’t let you do this. Too much money will be lost and I have people who are still waiting to even have a consultation for a contract.”

“Why don’t you let me take care of myself for once,” Avery snapped.

“Oh, that’s rich!” Debra laughed more. “Who’s the one who cancels your meetings when you’re sick or let’s you have a day off when you’re depressed?”

“You barely think about others!” Avery snapped.

“Then why don’t I just call the police and tell them what happened last month,” Debra threatened.

It was assumed that Daniel and Janice’s bodies were found. It had been a month since the incident and Avery still woke up with nightmares about the car rolling off the edge and Lily still had the fear of them getting arrested. They were jumpy in the car now. But Avery felt that she needed to get past this or she would always fear getting in a car.

Avery was about to give a comeback but Debra breathed heavily through her mouth and rubbed her stomach as her face twisted with pain.

“Debra?” Avery asked, walking over to her.

“Give me a second,” Debra said.

After about a minute, Debra’s face went back to back to normal and she let out a sigh, leaning back against the kitchen chair.

“Are you-”

“Yeah, I’ve been in labor for a couple hours,” Debra panted.

Avery wanted to scold Debra for not telling her sooner but she needed to be supportive right now. She was about to be a mom!

“Has your water broken?” She asked.

“No, so we might as well just stay home. The hospital isn’t going to do anything until then,” Debra reminded her and Avery agreed.

“How far apart are they?” Avery pushed for information.

“Like fifteen minutes apart,” Debra said.

“Let’s get you in bed,” Avery said. 

Debra reluctantly agreed and let Avery help her up. They slowly made their way up the stairs and Avery tucked her in before climbing into her bed herself and pulling out her phone to tell Lily and Amanda the good and scary news.

“Hello?” Lily answered.

“Debra has gone into labor,” Avery told her and she heard a gasp.

“Amanda! Debra has gone into labor!” Lily yelled.

“Oh my god, really?” Amanda yells in the background.

Avery was about to respond but the phone was ripped out of her hand and hung up. Avery looked at Debra and glared.

“What was that for?” Avery asked.

“I’m gonna have another contraction in about five minutes and I would prefer it if you aren’t talking about me while that happens,” Debra grumbled out. She was resting on some propped pillows because that was the easiest way to lay down. Avery grabbed her phone back and sent Lily a text, apologizing for her wife’s behavior as Debra breathed through another contraction.

“Is it still the same? You know the rule right? Five minutes apart, lasting for one minute and has been that way for an hour. Then we can go to the hospital,” Avery recited.

“I’m not anywhere close to that,” Debra said. Avery sighed in relief.

“Get some rest, you’re gonna need it.”

It was easier said than done. At 11pm, the contractions were still fifteen minutes apart. Avery couldn’t sleep either so she turned the TV on and kept the volume low. At 3am, the contractions were ten minutes apart and Debra walked the halls of her house to give her something to do and to try to make herself tired. At 7am, the contractions were six minutes apart. No sleep was found for either of them. Avery tracked the contractions.

Debra sat at the kitchen table. Avery sat across from her. They had tea in their hands and Debra sipped hers quietly, clutching onto the mug when she was in pain.

“Lily wants to know how you are,” Avery said softly.

“The same as last night,” Debra snapped.

Avery didn’t respond and sent off a quick text. She knew Debra didn't have the best behavior when she was in pain or vulnerable but she hoped Debra would at least be polite when they went to the hospital.

“Do you want anything to eat? You really should eat,” Avery offered. “I could make oatmeal or toast or even just yogurt. Anything is fine-”

“Avery.”   
  


“Yeah?”

“My water just broke.”

Avery knew she needed to be mature in this situation even though she began freaking out on the inside. Debra was about to be in a lot more pain and she would need her wife to be there with her every step of the way. 

“We have to go to the hospital now,” She said, standing up, nearly rushing out the door without Debra.

“Then help me,” Debra demanded.

Avery nodded and they both changed into different clothes and called Dr. Britt before grabbing the hospital bag they prepared and heading out the door. The water could be cleaned up later. Avery drove Debra’s car because it was lower to the ground and they didn’t want to mess with the height of the Jeep. Avery watched out of the corner of her eye as Debra groaned in pain. 

“How much longer?” Debra groaned out as another contraction hit.

“Two minutes?” Avery guessed as she sped up. “We’ll get there. Hold on.”

Avery wove in and out of traffic to get her wife to the hospital. A few months ago, Debra specifically stated the hospital she wanted and that she wouldn’t give birth to the baby unless it was at that hospital. Avery tried to tell her that the baby was going to come either way but Debra wouldn’t have it so here she was driving further to please Debra. She reminded herself that Debra was the one giving birth and deserved the best care possible.

They skidded up to the front of the hospital. They had valets that waited to help park the cars of the injured and sick people. Avery gave the keys to a valet and ran around the car to help her wife out of the car. She wrapped her arm around Debra’s waist and led her inside to the front desk. They checked in and were immediately greeted by a nurse who had a wheelchair with her and introduced herself as Karen, who would help her through the process of giving birth.

Avery helped Debra sit in the wheelchair and the nurse pushed them down the halls of the hospital. The pain in her back and lower stomach was worsening after her water breaking and Debra found it hard to be able to breathe through them.

They entered a room that looked way too fancy to be a hospital room. The bed was huge and there was a couch and armchair in the room as well. The room even had a little refrigerator.

“Here’s a hospital gown to change into. When you’re done changing, I’ll be back to examine you and put your IV in,” Karen said and slipped out the door to give them their privacy. Debra didn’t even argue about the hospital gown or IV. The pain in her stomach was growing worse and all she wanted was this to be done with.

After changing, Karen came back in and checked over Debra, telling her she was six centimeters along. An IV was stuck in her hand and they hooked her up to a monitor to keep an eye on her and her baby. She explained the functions of the room and which buttons to press if they needed help before vanishing again, promising to come back soon for another exam.

“Avery…” Debra started, laying against the pillows of the bed. “It really hurts.”

“I know, babe. But it’ll all be over soon and it’ll be so worth it,” Avery tried to reason. She didn’t know how long the rest of the labor would be but she didn’t want to upset Debra by saying the whole truth.

Debra stays quiet.

“What hurts the most?” Avery wondered.

“My back,” Debra groaned.

“Sit up, baby. I’ll help,” Avery said and helped her girlfriend lean forward before sitting behind her and rubbing small circles on her lower back.

“You can take a break if you want,” Debra said after a minute. “Four months. After your contract finishes, we can work out the legal stuff.”

Avery stopped rubbing for a second, “Really?”

Debra nodded, “Yeah.”

Avery grinned. She was very happy that Debra finally allowed her to take a break. She needed it and she knew that she would come back better than ever after the break.   
  


“Thank you, Debra. I really appreciate that.”

Debra nodded and Avery was expecting her to say more but another contraction hit and it was a bad one. Debra clutched the sides of the hospital bed, trying to focus on her breathing. And even though tears wanted to escape, she wouldn't let them. She specifically didn’t want an epidural. She thought she could manage the pain. Besides, she didn’t want a needle in her back.

Debra all but collapsed onto the pillows again and Avery rubbed her arm a little to show that she was there for her.

“Are Lily and Amanda here?” Debra asked.

“Yeah, they’re in the waiting room. Is that okay?” Avery asked.

Debra nodded. She said that it was okay that they wait in the waiting room but she didn’t want them anywhere near the room  _ at least  _ until the baby was born and she had a nap. Labor was hard work and she deserved it.

* * *

Amanda and Lily sat next to each other in the waiting room for their friend to deliver her baby. Except they weren’t talking and it was awkward considering they didn’t really know why.

“You’ve been weird lately,” Amanda spoke up.

Lily looked at her. “No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, you have. Right now you’re sitting next to me and you’re not even gushing about how your best friend is going to be a mom soon. It’s almost as if I can sense there’s something wrong,” Amanda explained.

“Are we going to get married?” Lily asked, not even a second after Amanda finishes.

“What?”

“Are we going to get married? We’ve been together for four years and we’ve talked about it some but no one has done anything about it. I’m in this for the long run if you are but I need to know what page we’re on because we need to fix it if we’re not on the same one,” Lily said quietly.

Amanda takes a moment to gather her thoughts before sighing, “I do have a ring. It’s hidden. I’ve just been trying to figure out a good time to do it. Lily, you deserve so much and part of that ‘so much’ is a nice proposal. I’m not gonna propose to you if we’re sitting on the couch eating Chinese or when you get out of the shower. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do this right.”

Lily had tears streaming down her face. “You have a ring?”

“Yeah, baby. I do,” Amanda nodded and Lily took her new fiance into her arms and kissed her deeply.

* * *

“You’re still six centimeters,” Karen informed her with a smile.

Debra groaned but not because of a contraction this time. How could it still be the same? Karen took her vitals again along with the baby’s before asking if she needed anything. When Debbra defeatedly said no, she gave a sympathetic smile and left.

Debra rubbed her stomach a little, trying to ease the pain a little. Before she was pregnant, she never understood why pregnant women did that, but she understood it now. It was a bond with her unborn child that no one else could have. And she had to admit that was pretty special.

“Come on, baby girl,” Debra moaned. “I’d like this to be over with.”

“Me too,” Avery agreed. “Do you think they heard that?”

Debra rolled her eyes.

* * *

And  _ finally  _ after five more hours of watching tv, talking to Avery about anything and everything, and trying to rest, the pain was too much to handle. Debra sat on the side of her bed, clutching her stomach as tears poured out of her eyes. She waited impatiently for the nurse to come after Avery pressed the call button.

Karen didn’t even need to ask what was wrong when she entered the room and helped Debra lay back down before checking to see how far along she was.

“She’s ten centimeters,” Karen informed Avery. “I need to call Dr. Britt.”

Avery nodded as she tried to focus on Debra and Karen. Karen was telling her information that she needed to know but Debra was practically sobbing in pain. Dr. Britt had gotten there sooner than Avery or Debra could have expected. Everything was put into action so quick that Avery couldn’t keep up with it.

If anyone ever asked Debra about the process of labor after, she couldn’t tell them. It was vague and hazy to her. Avery changed into scrubs. She remembered her legs being apart and constantly pushing a baby out while Avery sat behind her, giving her support and rubbing her back, telling her how good of a job she was doing. Her vagina felt like it was on fire and Dr. Britt told her that she just needed to push a few more times before getting to meet her little one.

But the actual process seemed to slip from her mind. The pain was unbearable and she couldn’t think of anything else but the pain, even with Avery’s supportive words in her ear. But it was all worth it in the end. The baby slipped out and the doctor held her as the baby cried. 

Dr. Britt grinned, “Avery, do you want to cut the cord?”

Avery had tears streaming down as she looked at her beautiful baby girl. She had wisps of blonde hair and she had the bluest eyes that Avery had ever seen. She looked perfect. Like a baby that you would see an illustration of. She couldn’t believe that was  _ her  _ baby.

“Yeah,” Avery sobbed out and Dr. Britt showed her where to cut. Avery did as she was told and before she knew it, she was handed her beautiful baby girl. Avery held her to her chest closely.

“Hi, sweetie,” Avery cooed to the little one in her arms. “I’m your mommy.”

She walked over to Debra and carefully placed the baby on her chest. Even though Debra had pushed a baby out of her, Avery thought she couldn’t be anymore beautiful. She had sweat dripping down her forehead and her messy hair was sticking to her forehead. But she had just delivered a gorgeous baby girl and it was all Avery ever wanted.

“Hey, sunshine,” Debra said, rocking the whimpering baby. “Look how beautiful you are.”

“You did amazing, baby.” Avery wiped some of Debra’s hair away from her face. Debra smiled tiredly.

Dr. Britt allowed a few more minutes before reluctantly taking her away to examine her and make sure she was healthy.

“Any names picked out?” She asked and Debra and Avery looked at each other, silently agreeing.

“Bailey Lynn Hammer,” Avery grinned.

“That’s a beautiful name. Born at 2:39pm on July 8th,” Dr. Britt said before checking to make sure that their baby was healthy.

* * *

“She’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Lily gushed as she held her niece along with Amanda.

Debra had taken a short nap and reluctantly allowed visitors in the room. She still looked exhausted and she admitted that she was but she kept an eye on Lily and Amanda when they held her baby. No one could even touch her unless they washed their hands.

“Adorable,” Amanda agreed.

Lily let Amanda have a turn with Bailey and she sat next to Avery.

“I can’t believe you’re a mom now. I remember when we first met in kindergarten and you gave me some of your chips.”

Avery grinned, “Life happened I guess.”

“I guess,” Lily smiled.

“You know you’re the baby’s godmother, right? Like if anything were to happen to Debra and I-” Avery rambled.

“I didn’t want to assume.” Lily’s grin got bigger.

“Of course you are. I don’t trust anyone else with her but you and Amanda,” Avery said.

The pair hugged before Amanda got their attention.

“I think we better go, Lily. Debra fell asleep,” She informed them. They looked over at Debra who had fallen asleep again. Amanda gave Avery her child back and the two said their goodbyes and exchanged hugs before leaving.

“Did they leave?” Debra asked, half asleep.

“Yeah, they left,” Avery said.

She looked down at her daughter again. Bailey had her little fist resting against her cheek, making Avery melt with happiness. Today had been all but a dream. She had a loving wife and a baby right in front of her. She didn’t know how it could get any better or how she could be any happier. Life was truly on her side and it felt perfect.

At that moment, Bailey began to cry. They had recently fed her and changed her so Avery guessed it was because the poor baby was just tired and didn't know what to do. She started rocking the baby while holding her close.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” Avery sang quietly while grinning, “You make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. So please don’t take my sunshine away.”


	15. August (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue for And I love her.

“Please welcome Avery Mercer back to the show!” Ellen DeGeneres said and Avery walked out, waving at the audience, grinning. They sat down on the white plush white chairs together and began to talk.

“You haven't been on the show in a while,” Ellen commented. “What have you been up to?”

Avery grinned,” Well, my wife and I just had a baby.”

The audience went wild. Avery and Debra decided not to mention anything about the baby until after she was born. In fact, even when they got married, no one knew who Debra was. There was a simple picture of them holding hands. All you could see were their hands with the rings on them that Avery had posted to Instagram. Avery first introduced Debra to the world when she won her first Grammy. Debra wasn’t about the attention, but she knew they would have to sooner or later. Needless to say, they were both very private about their relationship.

An image of Bailey in her crib was displayed behind them. Debra and Avery decided that was the only picture that would be released to the public for now. 

Avery grinned at the picture, “Yup. That’s her. Look at that little tongue poking out.”

“Very cute,” Ellen said. “Does she sleep well?”

“Absolutely not. What an attention whore,” Avery said, jokingly of course.

The crowd laughed.

“And you’ve just released album number four. Tell us about it.”

Avery went on to talk about her new album and the meaning it held to her. Copies were getting sold every day and Debra was very happy with the numbers.

“So you’ve been on four tours, one was a world tour, won a couple of Grammys and released albums every year. What are you planning to do now?” Ellen asked. 

“I’m gonna take a few months off. I’m gonna take time to bond with my baby and wife. But I’ll be back soon. This isn’t the end.” She didn't want her fanbase to get the wrong idea. They had grown tremendously over the years.

“All right, well I’m glad to hear that. We’ve gotta cut to commercial break but when we come back we’re gonna play Heads Up!”

* * *

Debra had just gotten the chance to sit down on the couch when the door opened, revealing Lily and Amanda coming in. Avery came out from the kitchen to greet them, with Bailey in her arms.

“Hey guys,” she greeted. Lily instantly held out her hands to hold her niece. Avery gave her over. Debra joined them.

“We have a gift,” Amanda announced, holding out a gift bag.

Avery shook her head in disapproval, “This is your third one this week. She’s gonna grow up to be a spoiled brat.”

Debra, however, snatched the gift from Amanda’s hand, “We’re always accepting gifts.”

Avery sighed and they all walked into the living room where they all sat down. Lily still had Bailey in her arms. They talked about the break that Avery was getting, Lily and Amanda’s wedding, and Debra’s new clients. They opened the gift and it turned out to be a little tiger onesie. It was a little big on her since Bailey was a smaller baby but she was absolutely adorable in it and everyone took pictures. Eventually they had talked for an hour and Bailey was getting a little tired from all the people in the room.   
  


“She can’t go to bed yet,” Debra said and plucked Bailey from Lily’s arms.

“That’s my niece,” Lily argued.

“That’s my daughter.”

Lily sighed in defeat.

“She’s gotta do tummy time,” Avery explained. “It’ll make sure she doesn't get any skull deformities.”

Debra placed Bailey on her tummy on a blanket in the living room. Bailey began to fuss and wiggled slightly.

“Come on baby, I don’t have time for this today. I’ve got things I need to get done,” Debra sighed to the little one. “Nineteen hours of labor and she can’t lay on her stomach.”

“I’ve got it!” Avery grinned and kissed her wife’s cheek before laying on the ground on her stomach across from Bailey. She rubbed the little girl’s head to soothe her. Bailey eventually calmed down and grew even more tired from the hard work.

Avery was able to politely explain that Bailey needed her rest but they were able to come over the next day if they wanted to. They agreed that they would be over because no one could stay away away from Bailey for too long.

Avery led the couple to the door so she could say goodbye to them before they went home for the night. She felt a hand on her back and the slight touch made her heart race as she jumped.

“Lily!” She scolded, “You know you can’t touch me without a warning anymore!”

Lily looked guilty, “I’m sorry, Avery. I forgot. I’ll do better next time.”

Avery smiled and let her know that it wasn’t a huge deal and she understood that it would take time for everyone to get used to. Since the attacks with Daniel and Janice, Avery could no longer be touched without a warning. It frightened her when it happened and it threw her back to times where she had been attacked. Her therapist diagnosed her with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and they were working hard together to help Avery through the nightmares and the flashbacks that came with the unexpected touches. Avery sighed as they left and shook the thoughts out of her head. She had a baby to take care of and she needed to focus on that for now.

* * *

“That was fantastic,” Avery breathed out, trying to regain her breath.

“It was,” Debra agreed and flopped down next to her.

“We never do this anymore,” Avery said and Debra got quiet.

Sex wasn’t a common thing for them anymore. They were both busy with their lives now and it was hard to find time for pleasure when you had a baby and were famous or if you had clients.

“We have a baby now,” Debra said quietly.

“That’s a bullshit answer,” Avery called out, scoffing. “Bailey sleeps fifty percent of the time anyways.”

Debra stayed quiet and looked at the ceiling above her. She didn’t know what to say to that because Avery had been right. Their baby was a sleepy baby and loved to sleep at least during the day. During the night was a different story.

“You’re beautiful,” Avery told her.

“Avery, stop.”

Debra grabbed the blankets and covered herself up with them before turning away from Avery.

Since having the baby, Debra had grown very insecure about her body. She had a few stretch marks scattered across her stomach but she lost the weight she had gained almost instantly. Avery thought she was very lucky as most people had to work to lose it. But Debra was more insecure than ever and wore clothes to make sure that her body was hidden. She didn’t feel like the same person anymore.

And Avery couldn’t argue with that. Although she thought Debra was still the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, pregnancy did change women. Some women even experienced postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder after giving birth and Avery was so thankful that Debra wasn’t experiencing that. 

Avery cuddled up to Debra, wrapping an arm around her middle.

“You are absolutely the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen,” Avery said and kissed the side of Debra.

“You’re saying that because we’re married,” Debra said a little harshly but Avery wasn’t going to let her believe those words.

Avery kissed down Debra’s covered body. “You’re absolutely gorgeous,” she said and Debra couldn’t help but sigh in content. It felt good and she couldn’t deny that to Avery.

Avery came back up after kissing her waist. “Your body is just as beautiful as it was before you were pregnant.”

Debra sighed again and wrapped an arm around Avery. She owed Avery so much. Avery never failed to make her feel beautiful and she only hoped that Avery knew she was just as beautiful as well. Inside and out. They had found each other out of millions of people on planet Earth and that had to mean something. They were destined to be together and Debra wouldn’t let anything happen to the wonderful relationship that was created between the two of them. And if Debra could have a baby, something that terrified her and changed her life forever, then she could face anything that the world had to throw at her.


End file.
